Tired of being the breadwinner in the family

I am almost 50 years old this year, have been married for more than 20 years, have two sons and one daughter, the eldest daughter is 23 years old this year, the youngest son is in 10th grade this year. My husband and I are both freelancers.

More than ten years ago, due to conflicts with my husband's family, my husband's parents kicked me out of the house. Seeing that my husband's parents were chasing me away, my parents gave me a piece of land, both as a place to do business and as a place for the whole family to live.

My husband is a gentle man, seeing me like that, he did not say anything to his parents but just followed his wife. Having a gentle husband, sometimes I feel happy because I have the right to decide everything, he agrees to do almost everything I say. However, I cannot avoid the times when I am tired because I have to be the pillar of the family. He never cares about what the family lacks or what needs to be done, from how to pay for the children's school fees, how to deal with internal and external affairs... I have to be the one to take the lead and take responsibility.

As a woman, I also want to lean on a strong shoulder. A while ago, I met another man, his house is more than 1 km away from mine and he is in the same business situation as me. We have a lot in common so we often share with each other about society or business. According to him, his situation is also pitiful, he married a bad wife so he is always oppressed, he has to take care of the family by himself but still can't rest, his wife doesn't understand him so they often quarrel. He divorced his wife a long time ago but because they couldn't agree on dividing the property, the two of them still live in the same house, each in a room.

Because we work in the same profession and often interact with each other, I fell in love with him without realizing it. Because of our secret relationship, my husband still thought we were just normal friends. My husband has now found a job but has to work far from home. I encouraged him to work, and when he comes home on the weekends, I still love him so he doesn't suspect anything.

However, I have thought about divorce many times because I don't want to deceive my husband. I want to live for myself, want to be pampered and protected by a man. I don't know if I can do it.

According to VOV