Losing his job, my husband would rather stay home and cook for his wife than drive Grab.

My husband and I are both civil servants, our salaries are not high, so we had to save up a lot to buy a mid-range apartment. We have only paid half of the house rent, the rest we still have to pay in installments of more than 10 million VND per month. Normally, my main salary and my extra salary are used for family expenses, while my husband's salary is just enough to pay the house rent and his personal expenses.

Because I was so busy trying to earn money to buy a house, I had my first child after 30 years old. The baby is only 5 months old and I am preparing to go back to work.

At first, my husband and I planned to invite my grandmother from the countryside to help take care of the children, and give her some extra money every month. I knew that I would not be comfortable with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law situation, but honestly, I had no other choice. With our current financial situation, hiring a maid was unthinkable. Moreover, my mother-in-law was still young and healthy, and had experience in taking care of children; my husband's brother's grandchildren were all taken care of by her, so I was completely at ease.

Everything was planned out perfectly, but those calculations were ruined because my husband's agency was in the process of being merged. Considering the specific situation, the possibility of my husband losing the job he had been attached to for more than ten years was very high. That was something neither he nor I had ever thought of.

My job is probably fine, even if my agency needs to streamline and I am on the payroll, I am not afraid, because my extra salary from outside is sometimes higher than my regular salary. Even when I am on maternity leave, I still take work home to ensure my own income. But my husband is different, for many years since graduating, he has only done that job, that position. Because he finds this job completely suitable for him, he has no intention of learning other skills, and has not done any extra work for a long time.

These past few days, I have been asking around to find a new job for my husband, but it is really difficult, because it is not easy to find a job during this period. We cannot rely on just one source of income because the bank debt is still hanging over our heads. I discussed with my husband that to avoid breaking the family's financial resources, if he loses his job, he should take on any job he can, even try opening a technology motorbike taxi account, temporarily driving for Grab. Doing that job will help him be proactive with his time and ensure he has cash to cover the installment payments.

My husband has always been a good listener and calm person, but this time he jumped up and firmly objected, saying he couldn't do it. He said it wasn't that he thought the job was lowly, but that his personality wasn't suited to the service industry. I asked him what it was that he wasn't suited to, but after a while I figured out that he was just afraid of losing face as a motorbike taxi driver.

The husband suggested an alternative plan: temporarily not to have his grandmother come to look after the children anymore. If he lost his job, he would stay home to be a housewife and take care of the children: "Isn't it better for children to be taken care of by their own parents than anyone else? Now I'm tightening my spending, adding the monthly allowance I plan to give my grandmother for babysitting, and that's almost enough to pay the bank. With you taking care of the house, I'll also earn more money, so the total won't be less than before.".

My husband encouraged me to try to overcome this difficult period. During his time at home, he will try to find a job that suits his abilities and personality.

Honestly, I am not at all reassured because my husband is not a quick and resourceful person, so it is not easy for him to find a job, because he has been "stable" for too long. With his professional qualifications, it is very difficult to find a job at this stage. I guess that my husband will not accept jobs that he thinks are humiliating, because yesterday when I called my friend to ask if they would need to hire security guards in the near future, he immediately dismissed it with a sullen face.

I told my husband loudly that even if I took on more work than before, and tried my best, I would only earn 5-6 million VND more each month. I could not manage to pay off the bank loan. So he told me to sell my dowry of more than 2 taels of gold because the price was good. I was furious but still tried to hold back, telling him that even if I sold the gold, it would only make up for a short time, and if he still couldn't find a job, what would we do?

The more we discussed it, the more heated I became with my husband. He told me that if he didn't put aside his pride and go out to earn money and share the burden with his wife, then not to mention 2 taels of gold, even 20 taels wouldn't be enough. So we had a big argument. He insisted that he wasn't proud, he just didn't get along, and scolded me for being selfish and holding on to the gold even when my husband was in trouble.

I am really sad and stuck now, taking care of a baby and worrying about finances, and my husband and I are in trouble. What should I do to make my husband willing to do any honest job as long as he can earn money to raise the baby if he can no longer keep his current job?