Why do Vietnamese parents rarely use 'male Van, female Thi' to name their children?

The 32-year-old woman from Ninh Binh said she had prepared the name Nguyen Hoang Anh for her child. While she was in the delivery room, her husband and mother-in-law added the word "Thi" to the birth certificate. When registering the birth, the husband did not discuss it with his wife but gave the birth certificate to the registrar so that the child's name could be written as before.

"These days, who still uses 'Thi' as a middle name? It sounds old-fashioned and rustic," Mai said to her husband in frustration.

Faced with her daughter-in-law's attitude, her mother-in-law explained that "male Van, female Thi" was the traditional way of naming Vietnamese people. Moreover, the name Hoang Anh could easily be mistaken for a boy, so the word "Thi" was added to make a clear distinction. Hearing that, Mai was silent.

Mai's discomfort with the word "Thi" stems from her school days when she was often teased by the name Pham Thi Mai. Many times her friends called her Thi Mai, even mispronouncing it as Thi Met with a derogatory meaning.

Not daring to argue with her mother-in-law, Mai inquired about changing the name, intending to secretly correct her child's birth certificate, but seeing that the procedure was quite complicated, she reluctantly decided to keep her current name.

Phuong Thanh, who lives in Bac Giang, wanted to name her grandson Vu Tuan Tu. When asking her father-in-law for his opinion, he wanted to add the middle name "Van" to his eldest grandson's middle name because this word means "educated, successful person". But adding Tuan Tu after Vu Van would make the name too long and awkward, so he advised Thanh and her husband to shorten it to Vu Van Tuan, which means both handsome and talented.

Although she understood her father-in-law's good intentions, Thanh immediately objected, saying that in modern times no one uses "Van" as a middle name anymore. According to her, the name Tuan Tu is good and meaningful enough, and there is no need for a middle name because "it sounds old-fashioned and not classy".

According to cultural expert Nguyen Hung Vi, former lecturer at Hanoi National University, naming boys with the middle name "Van" and girls with the middle name "Thi" used to be a typical cultural feature in Vietnamese tradition.

Mr. Vi explained that the word "Thi" originally means "family" or "family" and was used as a title of address in feudal times. The word "Thi" is often placed after the family name instead of the given name, for example "Tran Thi" is a woman with the family name Tran (or "belonging to the family name Tran" if that is her husband's family name).

Another derivative meaning is that in addressing, women refer to themselves as "Thi". From there, it became a social custom that when writing their full names, people often wrote "Father's Surname + Thi + Name". "Thi" became a middle name that identified women.

"As Confucianism developed in Vietnamese society, the middle name 'Thi' gradually became popular in daily life as a convenient distinguishing feature," said Mr. Vi.

Meanwhile, in the feudal era, only boys were allowed to go to school and take exams. Therefore, when naming, many families used the word "Van" as a middle name, hoping that their son would have a smooth career path. Over time, the word "Van" became popular to make parents' dreams come true.

In the study "Gender issues in Vietnamese names" by a group of authors from Hanoi Open University, University of Labor and Social Affairs and Institute of Occupational Safety and Health Science in 2021, it was shown that recently, Vietnamese female middle names tend to omit "Thi".

The main reason may be that the word "Thi" used in literature and art often refers to women with unattractive images such as Thi Mau (in Quan Am Thi Kinh) or Thi No (in the short story Chi Pheo). In addition, "Thi" is also used in the third person with the meaning of contempt or disdain, or in colloquial language, the word Thi Met is used to express the idea of ​​male superiority over female inferiority.

The middle name "Van" for men is similar. Due to the increasing development of society, the need for aesthetics and freedom when naming is also enhanced, reflecting the wishes of parents without necessarily following the old formula.

From the tradition of "men Van, women Thi" being the majority, nowadays the number of children with this middle name is decreasing. A survey by the above group of authors in 2021 recorded that only 18% of female names have the word "Thi", 24% of male names have the word "Van".

On social media platforms, many people believe that the middle names "Thi" and "Van" have disappeared. "I was born in 2006, and in my middle and high school classes, no one had the middle names 'Van' and 'Thi'. On my mother's side, my grandparents have removed the words 'Van' and 'Thi' when naming their children and grandchildren," a young person wrote.

Recent Reader Survey ofVnExpressTo the question "Do you plan to name your child with the middle name "Van" or "Thi"?" 88% of the responses chose "No".

However, according to expert Hung Vi, the removal of the word "Thi" from women's names is not a new phenomenon. More than 100 years ago, some noble women in Hue used "Ton Nu" and removed "Thi" because the word "Nu" already contained information about gender. The generation of women born after 1940 may have the word "Thi" on their birth certificates, but when writing letters or diaries, they often remove this middle name from their names. The women's liberation movement in the revolutionary movement also encouraged this practice.

Thu Ly, who lives in Soc Son, Hanoi, said she once asked her parents to change her middle name from Thi to Thu when she was still in school. "People with middle names like mine feel self-conscious and avoid using them when communicating with outsiders. Either they use their full name without the middle name, or they change their middle name themselves because they are afraid of being criticized as rustic and uncivilized," Ly said.

Psychologist Trinh Trung Hoa believes that the middle name "Van" or "Thi" actually has its own charm. However, modern society often emphasizes individuality, so many families do not want to name their children according to a formula, or duplicate other people's names, but instead choose names with more meaning and personality.

"It is impossible to judge people with the middle name "Thi" or "Van" as outdated or uncivilized, because civilization does not lie in the way of naming," said Mr. Hoa.

"It is a part of history and national culture, denying it will not make it disappear," the expert said. The expert believes that every child's name is imbued with the wishes and expectations of the parents, so they should cherish it and use it with pride. A name or any trend is considered outdated because many people no longer feel its beauty.

Mr. Hoa affirmed that when an individual is talented and successful, the name will automatically be beautiful no matter what it is. "A name is just for calling, the value of the person who created it will shape the legacy and reputation," the expert said.