Why my wife?

- Criminals are really sophisticated these days. I don't understand what tricks they use, but they just need to stand in front of me, ask me a question, then tap me on the shoulder and I automatically take off my jewelry, take all the money in my wallet and give it to them...(?!)
The friend clicked his tongue and said:
- How can it compare to my wife? Every month, at the end of the month, my wife just needs to blink and I automatically withdraw all my salary and give it to her.

Not out of hospital
Seeing a student absent from class, the teacher contacted him to ask why. The student replied:
- Miss, I want to take a leave of absence from school because my parents are in the hospital!
The teacher heard that and softened her voice:
- Then you stay home for a few days!
A week later, seeing that the student still hadn't come to class, the teacher worriedly asked and learned that the student's parents were still in the hospital. She anxiously asked:
- Why were your parents in the hospital for so long?
- Miss, because my father is a doctor, my mother is a nurse!