The pain of raising fat and skinny children according to "neighborhood standards"

"I don't know how her mother feeds her, but she looks weak and hasn't gained much weight," she often complained, comparing her daughter-in-law to not knowing how to take care of children like many others.

Anxious because her child was the same age but 3 kg less than the neighbor's child, Ms. Thuy's mother-in-law constantly reminded her to coax her child, force-feed him, buy more formula, supplements, probiotics... Many times, she carried her child around the apartment building yard, coaxing and forcing him to eat at all costs. As a result, after 4 months of being forced to eat and drink milk, Khoi became anorexic, leading to malnutrition.

Similarly, Huy's daughter, in Binh Chanh, just turned one year old, weighs 12 kg, is 75 cm tall, and is developing well, but both her paternal and maternal grandparents criticized her for being stunted. "The children in the family are all plump and round, but my child is the only one who is skinny, so my mother thinks she is malnourished," Huy said.

The grandmother tried to give the baby a lot of milk in addition to main meals, and to feed him yogurt and fruit on a tight schedule. To please both sets of parents, Huy and his wife tried all kinds of ways to prepare nutritious food such as stewing bones and cooking porridge for the baby. Over time, the baby became a poor eater, suffered from digestive disorders, and had to take medicine.

The situation of Ms. Thuy and Mr. Huy is also the suffering of many parents whose relatives or neighbors use their children's weight as a measure of their ability to raise children. Many people aim to raise healthy children, meaning they gain weight quickly and have a plump body, ignoring the reasonable and healthy weight gain indicators in young children.

Doctor Nguyen Trong Hung, National Institute of Nutrition, acknowledged that most people misunderstand nutrition, "being overweight is considered normal, being obese is considered overweight, and normal children are blamed for malnutrition."

This stems from the traditional concept of liking chubby children. Some parents know the risks of overweight, obesity and chronic diseases but still force their children to eat, choosing foods rich in fat because they believe it will help children gain weight and increase height quickly. This is very wrong, unintentionally pushing children to be overweight and obese without knowing it.

Many parents want their children to be fat because they think their children are too skinny and malnourished, while their weight is completely normal. "Children have the right weight for their age, but because they are growing in height, they look a bit skinny, but this is not a cause for concern," said Dr. Hung.

Not to mention, there are many consequences for children who are forced to eat. Psychologically, forcing food regardless of whether they like it or not makes children afraid, and from there, eating unintentionally becomes torture. Children become machines that only chew and swallow without feeling the delicious taste, leading to poor digestion, digestive disorders, stomach pain and even psychological trauma due to too much stress. Some children have stomach cramps when they see food.

The United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) warns that without intervention, Vietnam will have about 1.9 million obese children by 2030. Since 1975, the rate of overweight and obese people in the world has nearly tripled, now reaching nearly two billion people.

"About two years ago, the number of overweight and obese children coming to the hospital for examination was less than 10%, now it is about 15%," according to Dr. Doan Thi Bao Thuy, Department of Nutrition, Children's Hospital 2. A well-developed baby must have a normal weight and height with balanced nutrition. Many young parents have knowledge but because they want to please their grandparents or are under pressure, they leave it to the elderly to take care of them. Most of the time when children refuse to eat, grandparents often do not force them but will supplement nutrition "compensating" by drinking milk. In many cases, parents said that their children were given 1.5-2 liters of milk per day.

Drinking milk is fast, makes children full easily, is delicious and does not require chewing, so most people like it. In fact, milk is the main source of food for children under one year old. However, doctors recommend that children gradually switch from drinking milk to eating food. At this time, the role of milk is reduced, becoming only a source of calcium and energy. Many parents do not have the knowledge and skills to take care of children, and cannot teach their children to have diverse eating habits, so children mainly rely on milk.

"Some babies drink a lot of milk and look plump, so their families mistakenly think they are healthy and continue to give them 1-2 liters of milk a day instead of solid foods. When they go to the doctor, they are shocked to find that their children are anemic and iron deficient," the doctor said.

According to experts, young children have weak digestive systems, and long-term force-feeding can have negative effects. Obese children face many risks such as dyslipidemia and diabetes. If obesity persists into puberty, weight loss will be even more difficult. Children are at risk of becoming obese adults, and are susceptible to other diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

Overweight and obese children are often clumsy, slow, and teased by their friends, which affects their psychology and learning ability. Furthermore, the treatment of these diseases contributes to weight gain or limits activities, thus making them even fatter.

Parents need to regularly monitor both their child's weight and height. If they see that their child is gaining weight too quickly, they need to reduce their food intake, give them more green vegetables and fruits, limit sweets, and increase physical activity... When a child is obese, they need to be taken to the doctor for advice on a suitable diet.

You should divide meals into smaller portions and not let your child get too hungry and eat more at the next meal. You can feed your child several meals, each meal a moderate amount.

Feed your child on time, do not feed him too much before bedtime. Do not keep too many high-energy foods at home such as cheese, butter, candy, ice cream, soft drinks, and chips. In addition, encourage and help your child exercise and do housework.