More than love

For nearly 30 years of marriage, my mother has woken up early every morning to make tea for my father. This has been a habit of hers throughout all those years of living together. Rain or shine, winter or summer, a pot of hot tea or a cup of cold tea is what my mother always makes for my father every morning.

I asked my mother if she ever got angry and didn't make tea for my father every morning. She smiled and said that no matter how angry she was with my father, even if there were times when they "didn't get along well" and even wanted to break up, she still maintained the habit of making tea for him, unless she was on a business trip or seriously ill. She said that the teapot was sometimes the place where my parents bonded together, rekindling their love when there were signs of a rift.

Nearly 30 years, through the joys and sorrows of life, mother's hair has been dotted with silver threads, but the tea she gives father every morning is still as sweet as ever.

Dad always silently takes care of mom and the family with tolerance. Mom and dad bond with each other through small things like gardening, cleaning the house together, dad washing dishes, mom cooking...

Admiring my parents' love, I always dream of having a family like that in the future. My husband will also have the same features as his father.

And he came to me. A gentleman, the youngest son of a well-educated family with a position in society. He had been through many love affairs with beautiful girls from rich families. He did not hide anything when we came together. We loved each other for about two years and then decided to live together.

His family is rich but his parents are also very understanding and love me. They let us live separately so we can be independent and comfortable.

I thought I would enjoy complete happiness because I had my own world... But I gradually became disillusioned because he was patriarchal, even heartless. Every time he came home from work, he would bury his face in his phone or computer while I was rushing around cooking and cleaning the house. Even though my job was equally busy and tiring. He never took me to the market. Housework was naturally his wife's job. I was sad and disappointed... In my parents' marriage, dreaming of a tolerant and understanding husband like my father was probably hard to come by.

On the occasion of Tet, when I returned home to visit my family, my mother realized that her daughter was not happy, so she went into the room. She took the ao dai that her mother and father bought for her at the Tet market and held my hand to ask about my married life. All the resentment I had felt for so long made me cry and tell my mother everything. She did not say anything, but gently said: "Be patient, gradually change your husband's love. Like me, for nearly 30 years, I have made tea for my father every morning, rain or shine, whether he is angry or happy... Don't expect anyone to do anything for you when you are not wholehearted or understanding of them. Be thoughtful, tolerant and know how to take care of your small family"...

Listening to my mother, every morning I woke up early, made coffee, cooked for him instead of waking up late so that he and I could go to work in a daze, grabbing something to eat on the way. I didn't nag, nor did I feel uncomfortable doing housework alone. Instead of ordering him to do this or that, I tactfully asked him to help. Gradually, he cooked and cleaned the house with me. Every time I went to the market, I asked him to take me there and tactfully asked him for advice on which meat was good to buy, which flowers were beautiful to choose.

Knowing that he was busy, I always tried to help him enter data and check for errors on the spreadsheet. Gradually, not only in housework, but also in work, he also shared more with me. In return, I also received his help when I had difficulties or many tasks.

Mom was right, to have a warm and happy marriage does not require rigidity and demands but requires tact, sometimes even sacrifice and understanding.

After more than a year of marriage, for the first time he hugged me and whispered, apologizing for his carelessness and patriarchy that had made me sad. He said: "I was careless and didn't know you were allergic to shrimp, so I still gave you some when I went out to entertain guests, making you angry"...

He also told me about the recent conversation and confidences between the son-in-law and his father-in-law that made him realize many things. "Dad shared all the secrets to maintaining a marriage with me. Dad told me all the bad habits and hobbies of his daughter and hoped I would understand and be tolerant to love her more. Dad told me that whether a marriage is happy or not depends on love, tolerance and understanding. Dad taught me many things"...

Today is Valentine's Day, I secretly bought him a new laptop because he often complained about computer problems recently but because of saving and being busy he has not been able to buy a new one. Although it is expensive, I am determined to save my salary and savings to buy it for him. Hope he will like it.

Coming home early from work, I was elated, wondering if he would like to receive his gift. Opening the door, I was surprised to see the house lit up with candles and on the dining table were my favorite dishes that he had painstakingly prepared when he came home early. Even more surprising was that on the table was a huge bouquet of honeysuckle. Flowers and I have loved since childhood. He smiled and hugged me, whispering: Happy Valentine's Day to us. Let's take care of our little home together!

I didn't expect him to be so romantic, something he didn't like before but because of me maybe he changed... My parents were right, to have a happy family requires more than love.