Headache because every time I go back to my hometown during Tet, I get asked "when are you getting married?"

For the past few days, morning, noon, afternoon, and evening, my parents have been calling to ask when I will be back and why they haven't sent me my flight information like every year so they can arrange to pick me up. I just mumbled: "I'm so busy with work, I haven't finalized it yet!"

I am 28 years old, and people say I am smart and beautiful. Many people say I am a model woman because I have a stable job at a large corporation, buy my own house and car.

There is a lot of work, but not so busy that I haven't decided on a return date like how I told my parents. Honestly, I'm considering whether to go home for Tet or not because I'm very tired and have a headache thinking about being asked "when are you getting married?"

Over the years, every time I came back, ten people, like one, all asked me if I had a boyfriend, when I would get married, when I would have children... The funny thing is that I was asked this question since I had just graduated, not yet 23 years old. In the past few years, the frequency of the questions has become even more terrible.

"When are you getting married?" is the question I hear most often and most commonly.

"Anh and Tham are in the same class as you in middle school. They have 2 or 3 children already. Don't you want to see them?", some neighbors asked when they came to my house.

"You must be too picky. You have a house and a car, so you probably think you don't need a husband or children. In a few decades, even if you want to, it will be too late to regret," my paternal aunts examined me.

"Women must get married and have children to be considered successful. If you think you're successful just because you bought a house and a car, you're completely wrong," some people "taught" me, making me visibly uncomfortable.

Even more annoying, after forcing me and only getting a smile, they turned to "attack" my parents: "You didn't force her to go, but letting her do whatever she wants is bad. If she can't find a husband in the city, she should go back to the countryside. I see that A. just came back from working in Japan and seems to have money, or B., he's a bit ugly but seems to have a good personality...".

Many people are so rude that they say: "She's so smart and beautiful, so many people like her but she doesn't like anyone, does she have a problem with her gender?" One day, I was in the house and heard my neighbor say that. I looked out and saw my father's face red. He chased her away, extremely angry.

I want to get married. But it's a lifelong thing.

I also had a few relationships, all of them were long-term, but after a while, they found it was not suitable so they stopped. I know that if those relationships lead to marriage, they will easily break up. Only those of us involved can understand the reason.

I admit that I am quite a perfectionist. At this point, when I have "experienced" enough, for me, a love must at least be sustainable, and can lead to marriage, before I dare to step into it. The point of view that my friends still follow, "try it out, if it's not fun, then break up", is not very suitable for me.

Should I go back to my hometown and explain the above content to each person every time I am asked? Explaining to myself is tiring, let alone explaining to people I may only meet once every few years.

Honestly, every time I face these overly enthusiastic "concerned" questions, my head feels like it's going to explode because if I don't answer, I'll be considered rude, and if I answer, I'm not comfortable.

I work and live in the city, going back to my hometown a few times a year, hearing that kind of questioning is tiring; let alone my parents at home, hearing it every day. I feel sorry for them. In the countryside, a girl around 26 who is not married is considered "leftover" or "past her prime". I am 28 years old so I can somewhat understand how my parents feel.

The standard of success and happiness in my hometown requires that girls over 25 must have a husband. If the husband has a job in a government agency, it is even more proud, even if the salary is meager.

People like me think my life is okay, but people in the countryside think it's unstable. People say I'm a person who doesn't follow tradition, is different from everyone else.

Honestly, Tet, not only me but probably all young people want to return to their hometown. Tet is not just to rest and enjoy family meals, but also to find one's roots, to return to childhood, to the roots of one's soul. Tet is to find a place where one can put aside "other faces" to simply be oneself.

So, if only there weren't those casual comments and "interrogations" about very private and sensitive matters like above, Tet would be so much more complete.