How to respond to the "question" "Are you married and how much is your salary during Tet?"

Experience making to he at the spring fair - Illustration: NGUYEN HIEN

Difficult questions about marriage, work or income are always a difficult problem for young people every time Tet comes. Such as: "How much is your monthly salary?"; "You are so beautiful and have a good personality, why don't you have a lover yet?"; "Why don't you have a child to make the family happy?"...

In reality, not everyone knows how to respond to prying questions about their personal lives - a habit that many Vietnamese people have a hard time breaking. So should we show our attitude openly, publicly respond to the questioner, or try to be patient and endure time and time again?

It’s obvious that you need to prepare yourself before a family reunion. Think about what your relatives might say that might impact you, and practice your responses.

When responding, try to be gentle and use first-person statements to avoid sounding accusatory to the questioner.

I think we should be sympathetic to people who have a habit of asking intrusive, rude questions. Simply because they are outsiders and don’t understand anything about my life.

Actually, they weren’t just asking me. Their motive was just curiosity, which everyone has, not malicious intent. Besides, it was just gossip. Sometimes it’s our own way of thinking and reacting harshly to things that makes us feel pressured.

Here are some sentences for our reference:

1. How much do you earn? - Just enough to eat.

2. When will you have another child? - God knows when.

3. How much money have you saved? - So-so.

4. Can you help your parents with anything? - A lot.

5. Do you have a lover yet? - I have had many lovers, but I just haven't loved them back yet!

6. Why are you so fat these days? - Why are you talking so blandly these days? Or change the subject, "I don't like talking about this."

7. Why are you sick lately? Are you sick? - I'm sick so I can take pictures and save money on buying a phone with high memory capacity to save money on going out.

I have responded in every way possible but still feel uncomfortable, what to do?

If you've tried to stay within your limits and still feel uncomfortable, it's perfectly acceptable to leave the party in a "good-natured" way by giving an excuse. You're not obligated to engage in a conversation that hurts you or others just because someone else dragged you into it.

Removing yourself from an upsetting or stressful situation is the best way to set boundaries. But that doesn’t mean you should start a riot or yell before you leave. Respond with a reasonable excuse.

There are thousands of other diverse and colorful questions from relatives and neighbors every Tet holiday that make the person being asked laugh and cry, not knowing how to respond. For questions that instead of being the beginning of a lively conversation, often become a "dead end" of a conversation that can cause "trauma" for many days later, you should respond by letting it go with a smile, pretending to let it go, or even showing an attitude of not caring at all.

Tet is an occasion for everyone to gather and ask about the situation of the past year, but there are questions that you know will make others uncomfortable, so don't ask, or else it will ruin the fun. Let's welcome a civilized, elegant and happy Tet Quy Mao 2023 together.

According to Tuoi Tre