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Simple actions, supportive presence, and adjustments in communication can build deeper connections and promote children's resilience.
According to Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, a professor at Trent University (Canada), there are important lessons parents need to keep in mind to change the way they interact with their children.
Always keep a bright face when the child enters the room.
This is such a simple act, but it can have a significant impact on a child. Your face lighting up has the ability to convey warmth, love and happiness without words, and provides your child with validation and reassurance.
When hugging, let the child let go first.
Hugs foster a sense of belonging, security, and trust between parents and children. Hugging has the ability to calm the nervous system and let loved ones know they are safe.
In fact, parents may not know exactly what their child needs to fill their emotional needs. Therefore, a quick 10-second hug or a long hug can contain a lot of feelings for the child. Just let them take the initiative to let go, you let them know they are always loved and supported.
Play with children
In one study, scientists asked children, "When do you feel most loved by your parents?" and the answer was, "When they play with you." This suggests that it's not lavish vacations, birthday parties, or perfectly set dinner tables that matter most to children.
Play strengthens bonds and supports children’s development in countless ways. It is a gateway to empathy, communication and relationships. Parents should find moments of comfort and allow themselves to enter their child’s world and join in the fun.
Be a supporter, not a rescuer
Most parents want to best prepare their children for life's challenges, yet most parents tend to "jump in to the rescue" rather than giving them space to problem solve and develop confidence in their ability to overcome difficulties.
For example, if you pick your child up from school every time they feel anxious, that is rescue. If you teach your child skills and tools to navigate anxiety, you are supporting them.
In fact, children need support to enable them to learn to cope and grow amidst difficulties, stumbles, failures and mistakes, so that they can courageously grow in the future.
Live chat, ready to listen
When children come to you, they just want someone to listen, empathize with their feelings, and validate their experiences.
In face-to-face conversations, parents should listen more than argue. Sitting together, chatting in the car, or chatting in the kitchen while doing other activities can create a more relaxed and informal atmosphere, making children feel more comfortable and inclined to share more openly. This approach can help foster a sense of mutual respect and facilitate more meaningful and productive conversations.
TH (synthesis)