3 ways to pamper your children without spoiling them, every parent should know

Pampering children is the way many parents show their love and care for their children, wanting to protect them from dangers and difficulties, so that their children can have an easier and better life. However, how to pamper children properly so that they can still feel the love of their parents, but not become spoiled is not an easy task.

With over 15 years of experience in the field of psychology, successfully organizing many online programs on parenting attracting 10,000 - 15,000 parents to participate, Master of Educational Science, psychology expert Nguyen Thi Lanh (Minh Tri Thanh Academy) suggests to parents 3 ways to pamper children without spoiling them.

If parents apply these three things well, they will help their children grow up in love and develop good qualities to succeed as adults.

Give children rights and obligations in the family

Parents need to set and consistently enforce boundaries about their children's rights and responsibilities in the family, rights go hand in hand with obligations.

If this is not clear, children often think they have the right to eat, the right to play, the right to demand, and have no obligations to their family. They lack responsibility and do everything according to their own will. They demand to buy expensive phones and clothes even though their families are not well off. They live irresponsibly, leaving toys on the bed and letting their mothers or maids clean up. Today they go to school and lose their pens, tomorrow they lose their books...

Therefore, parents should not easily satisfy all the demands of their children but should require them to fulfill their obligations in order to be given rights. Children want their parents to buy them the things they like, so have they fulfilled their study obligations well, or are they still being urged by their parents every day? Children want to eat delicious food, go to interesting places, so have they done well the housework assigned by their parents?

According to Ms. Lanh, by applying this method, parents still indulge their children, their needs are met, but they do not spoil them because there are clear boundaries. Children know their limits and understand that if they want to increase their rights, they must also increase their responsibilities and obligations.

This is also the law of life. The greater the privilege, the greater the responsibility. The lazier you are and the less responsibility you have, the less privilege you have. By being trained in these things from a young age, when you grow up and go out into society, children will not be surprised and will live responsibly because they will soon understand that they need to work hard to achieve what they want.

Not helping immediately when your child fails or makes mistakes

When children encounter difficulties or make mistakes, many parents tend to rush in to help, do it for them, and immediately correct their mistakes. When children were young, seeing them taking a long time to eat and spilling food, they would get impatient and say, “Let me do it for you.” When children were clumsy and took a long time doing housework, they would say, “Just leave it to me so I can do it faster.” When children couldn’t do their homework or made mistakes, their parents would immediately solve the problem for them… This causes children to lose their ability to solve problems because their mistakes and failures were solved and done for them by adults.

Expert Nguyen Thi Lanh said that success is always built from many failures. Mistakes and failures are not bad, they help us learn valuable lessons and are a way to grow. If we are afraid of failure and mistakes, we will never be able to grow.

However, that does not mean leaving your child to deal with failures and mistakes because it will make the child think that his parents do not care about or love him, have limited beliefs that he is useless, and hate himself.

Parents should choose to help but not spoil their children. Talk to your children about their failures and mistakes so that they can find ways to overcome them and practice their problem-solving skills. Be patient in guiding, instructing, and guiding your children to face their mistakes and overcome them firmly.

Recognize and encourage your child

Along with helping your child overcome mistakes and failures, acknowledge and encourage them when they achieve success.

In the journey of growing up, every child wants to be noticed and praised to feel valuable. Parents should give compliments when their children work hard and achieve good academic results. Or when their children do something to help others, parents can praise their children for being kind and generous.

By praising, parents help children feel the care and love of their family. At the same time, parents acknowledging their children will help them recognize themselves, be proud of themselves to grow up with confidence, and shine in life.