4 questions to test if parents are too indulgent with their children

When a child is crying or throwing a tantrum at the grocery store, some parents try to soothe their child by immediately responding to their child’s demands, according to Lauren Silvers, a child psychologist at FamilyWise Northwest. On the one hand, parents indulge their child’s needs and desires, but it also helps them escape from the uncomfortable moments.

“Overindulgence is more about ourselves and our discomfort with seeing our children unhappy or uncomfortable. We give in to them, regardless of whether it’s in their best interest in the long run,” Silvers explains.

Overindulgence is when parents do more for their children than is really necessary, such as cleaning their room, thinking that it will take more time for them or not be as clean as what they do. It also means that parents have difficulty setting or enforcing rules for their children.

If you're not sure whether you're overindulging your child, Silvers says you can take a test with these four questions:

1. Is what I am doing getting in the way of my child learning skills that support their development?

2. Am I spending too much money on my child compared to my family's ability and budget?

3. Do the choices I make benefit me more than my child?

4. Is the child's behavior likely to harm others or society in any way?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you may be spoiling your child to the point that it could be damaging him or her.

Giving children developmentally appropriate tasks can teach them important life lessons, such as how to problem solve to overcome difficulties. Likewise, it helps children set specific rules for themselves and then follow them.

If you have been overindulging your child for a while, starting to set rules will cause a backlash. However, in the long run, it will help your child become a responsible and independent adult.

According to millionaire host of the American show Shark Tank, Barbara Corcoran, parents often find it difficult to say no to their children's requests, especially when they have the means. However, it is important to consider that children can be spoiled when they grow up. Corcoran often encourages her children to get jobs if they want to buy something.