Women Proposing Trends

"I am happy with my choice and want to live fully with our love, so I don't see anything to be ashamed of," said the 38-year-old woman in Ho Chi Minh City. On her wedding day on October 12, she showed the video of her proposal to her husband's family on both sides.

Thu Le said she had been planning to propose to Quang Dinh, 42, since early 2023 and carried out the plan on July 14. Before that, she pretended to want to buy a couple ring to measure her husband's hand size and prepared a separate pair of rings. After that, she contacted her husband's colleagues and students to organize an exchange at his familiar soccer field in District 7.

At 5 p.m., the football match began, the filming crew entered the field with the support of Mr. Dinh's colleague, lying that they were filming for a report. 30 minutes later, the melody of the song "See Love" rang out, the dancers also did their duty, stirring up the atmosphere. Mr. Dinh still did not understand what was happening until he saw his wife appear. "Even though I held flowers to cover my face, he still recognized me. I was really shaking and it took me a long time to dare to look straight at him," Ms. Le said.

Although she had prepared carefully in advance, Thu Le could not help but feel emotional and choked up. She approached him, held his hand, and said the loving words she had rehearsed dozens of times the day before: "Two years together is enough for me to understand and realize that I want to marry you and be the father of my future children. I believe I was right."

Seeing her lover's hands still shaking, Thu Le asked repeatedly while tears streamed down her face: "How do you feel today? Do you love me, do you love me a lot?". Mr. Dinh suddenly burst into tears like a child. About 15 minutes later, the man regained his composure, kissed his girlfriend's forehead lightly and said: "I love you so much, I don't know what else to say". Ms. Le took out the engagement ring and gave it to him, both of them tacitly understood that they would be together forever.

Ms. Nguyen Hieu, 24 years old, branch manager of a wedding planning company in Ho Chi Minh City, said that love confessions or proposals organized by women like Ms. Thu Le's are not rare today. Since the beginning of 2023, her company has received service requests from hundreds of couples or lovers to organize wedding parties, proposals, anniversaries or simply a date. "More than 80% of the time, women proactively come up with ideas and contact the company so that the special day takes place perfectly, according to their wishes," Hieu said.

The manager also added that this year's customers are mainly Gen Z, many women are willing to spend from tens of millions to hundreds of millions of VND to organize a proposal ceremony or intimate party with their lover and friends.

Do Quynh Mai, representative of the Huy Thanh Jewelry gold jewelry and wedding ring brand, said that in 2023, the company's "Surprise Proposal" project helped dozens of women propose successfully. Female customers are mainly between 20 and 30 years old.

"Women's plans are often successful because the men are so surprised. There was a guy who was so shocked when he was proposed to that his girlfriend couldn't answer because she was choked up," said Ms. Mai.

It is known that before the proposal, the girls and Ms. Mai's staff spent a whole month carefully preparing everything from decoration, dialogue, performance, and gifts. In addition to expressing their love, the girls also wanted to have photos and videos to keep.

Han Nhi, 24, from Hanoi, said her "proposal project" in December 2022 received enthusiastic support from her mother-in-law. However, it still took her a month to come up with a script, changing dozens of A4 sheets because she wanted to have an emotional handwritten letter to read to her lover.

That day, Nhi borrowed the rooftop of a coffee shop that held memories for both of them, decorated it with balloons and hung the words "Will you marry me?". When her boyfriend just entered the shop and was still confused about what was going on, Nhi took out the ring and said: "Will you marry me?". Nhi's husband kissed her hand lightly, making her almost cry.

Nhi said the proposal was a thank you to him, because of her he tried to do many things himself, always pampered her even though he was usually quiet and dry. "Everything that other people have, he will have, what other people don't have, I will try to bring to show that he is special, these small surprises also contribute to nurturing the feelings of both of us", Nhi said.

Psychologist Tran Huong Thao (Ho Chi Minh City) said that the fact that more and more women are proactively proposing to their boyfriends is a sign that gender equality in Vietnam has improved significantly.

"Women today are no longer bound by society's gender stereotypes. They are willing to be open and proactive in their feelings to satisfy their own interests and desires, and do not want to be in a situation where they have to wait for their partner," the expert said.

Besides, many girls said that they proactively expressed their feelings because they needed a clear answer to whether the relationship could develop further. Proposing is also a way for them to confirm whether to continue or stop.

Marriage and family psychologist Le Thi Minh Hoa of Sunnycare Psychology Institute (Ho Chi Minh City) said that women proposing to men has existed since ancient times but appeared in other forms, for example, asking, urging marriage or accepting marriage before the male proposed, indirectly showing their initiative.

According to Master of Culture Luu Huyen Trang, lecturer at the Academy of Journalism and Communication, women taking the initiative to propose, confess their love or decide their own happiness is completely appropriate and should be encouraged. Not only because that person dares to step out of prejudice, but because when this is respected, society has reached a higher level of awareness of personal happiness as well as the right to protect one's personal happiness.

When women take the initiative, they have broken the old concept of "where parents arrange, children sit" in arranged marriages, functional marriages (a type of marriage in the old society where individual happiness is ranked after many benefits of the clan, village, family). Not only do women express their love, propose marriage, but they also dare to refuse, dare to hold on or dare to end a relationship that brings much unhappiness, with the ultimate goal of finding and keeping happiness for themselves.

"Only when a girl is happy with her decision can she be a happy wife, a happy mother and a happy individual," said Ms. Trang.