If husband and wife go back to their hometown to celebrate Tet, is it still family?

I read the article “Every year, my husband and I each go back to our hometowns to celebrate Tet” by author Gia Han shared on an online forum and was surprised to see that there were quite a few comments supporting this “each goes back to their hometowns” solution.

This method is fine if only applied in a few special, rare cases, but if it becomes a regular practice, it is extremely harmful, not only affecting family harmony, causing grandparents on both sides to think, but also going against the tradition and good meaning of the traditional Vietnamese New Year.

The most wonderful meaning of Tet is reunion, when all members, no matter who are studying or working far away, return to their family. The big family still gathers together, but the small family is divided, the wife returns to her hometown, the husband returns to his hometown, the children either follow their father or mother, so is Tet a day of reunion or a day of separation?

Celebrating Tet at the paternal or maternal home is always a matter of debate, even conflict in young families. Each family has its own situation, some families almost only celebrate Tet at the paternal home, some families only celebrate Tet at the maternal home every five or seven years, some families divide it equally, returning to a different hometown each year. Everything is fine if the husband and wife can agree with each other. But no matter which hometown they celebrate Tet, the husband, wife and children must go together, they cannot each go to a different place.

Many women think that if they come back, their parents will be happy, but in fact, the elders will think if they only see their daughter and not their son-in-law. They will worry, is it because the two of them are angry with each other that their daughter is coming back alone; will her coming back alone damage the relationship with her in-laws…? Not to mention the neighbors who come to wish them a happy new year and ask why she came back but he didn’t, then guess and guess, making the elderly parents even more embarrassed.

The grandparents certainly will not be happy when every Tet holiday, their children and grandchildren go their separate ways, and will feel sad when they see their daughter-in-law competing with her husband. This is a very sensitive issue, maybe the grandparents do not say it, but the hesitation in their thoughts will also affect their feelings.

Men and women are equal, there is no distinction between parents and children, but don't be so rigid that each person goes back to their hometown. It's so sad during Tet like that!