Raising children requires sugar, calcium and salt

This view is held by Ms. Dou Guimei, principal of Tsinghua University Primary School, China. She explains that a child needs "sugar", which is love and care; calcium, which is self-reliance; salt, which is hardship and difficulty. These three things are indispensable in education.

Put "sugar" first, follow the child's natural characteristics

Sweets can satisfy the brain's energy needs and make people feel happy. Every child is born with a sweet tooth. The "sugar" in family education is the care and encouragement of parents.

There is a story that touched many people. A mother who attended a kindergarten parent-teacher meeting for the first time said: "Your son has ADHD and can't sit still for three minutes. You should take him to the hospital to get checked out."

The mother understood how her child was, and when she got home she told her child, "The teacher praised you and said that many children cannot sit on a chair for a minute, but you can sit still for three minutes. Other mothers are very jealous of me."

That night, for the first time, her son ate two bowls of rice, which he had never been able to do before. When the child was in primary and secondary school, every time the teacher and the parents met, they avoided negative comments from the teacher. But when they got home, the mother said, "The teacher praised you and believed in you. As long as you continue to work hard, you will succeed."

After hearing his mother's words, the boy was encouraged and confident. For more than ten years, his mother used "sugar" to nourish his little heart and give him strength to move forward.

It wasn't until her son graduated from high school and was accepted into a prestigious university that the secret of all this was revealed. "Mom, I know I'm not a smart kid, but you're the only one in this world who appreciates me," the son said, crying.

American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "Self-confidence is the first secret to success." In fact, it is not difficult to make children confident. As long as parents are willing to weave sweet love with compliments and encouragement, willing to go through childhood, adolescence and youth with warm and tolerant feelings with their children, children will naturally be full of confidence and move forward on the path to meeting the best "version" of themselves.

Add "salt" to teach children to face difficulties in life

A philosopher once said: "Suffering, enduring suffering, overcoming suffering, this is the process of maturity."

Life has its sweet and bitter taste. In raising children, if you want them to develop richly and diversely, you cannot lack "salt", so that children understand that life is not always smooth sailing, and that there are inevitable difficulties, challenges, and failures.

There was an 8-year-old boy who followed his mother to Qingdao to work. On a cold winter night, when everyone was in warm homes, the boy studied on a trash can under the street light at his mother's baked sweet potato stall. The boy studied very hard and often helped his mother pack goods and look after the stall. Such a child could overcome any hardship in the future.

American mental health expert Rand Newman pointed out: "People who have very "happy" childhoods often have unhappy adulthoods." In other words, children who rarely fail as children will suffer deep trauma when they grow up because they cannot adapt to fierce competition and a complex, unpredictable society.

No matter how much we love our children, we must sprinkle "salt" on their path to adulthood, so that they can gain life experience through hardships, and forge their strong will.

Supplement "calcium" for children to be independent

There is a saying that "True parental love is to let the child be an independent individual, separate from your life as early as possible, the more successful he will be".

In order for children to become independent individuals facing life, supplementing "calcium" is essential in family education. Thanks to "calcium", children will have resilient vitality and the ability to adapt tenaciously to cope with the ups and downs of life.

However, many parents do not understand this truth. They forget to supplement "calcium" for their children during their growth, thereby creating "a giant child".

Not long ago, there was a young man named Xu, 29 years old, after graduating from university, still idle at home waiting for food and drinks from his elderly parents, even brought home a girlfriend he met online. In response to his parents' dissatisfaction, he said that his parents had an obligation to provide for him. In desperation, Mr. and Mrs. Xu sued their son in court, and at the same time filed a request to forcibly evict their only child from the house.

Famous German educator Carl Witt said: "Taking care of nurturing independence is true love for children."

Compared to the young man Tu, the 10-year-old girl Nghiem Chuong A from Zhejiang province became independent early under the guidance of her parents, who are doctors at Hai Ninh Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital. As the only child in the family, she has never relied on anyone. Every day after school, she goes to the market and cooks for her parents. A child's independence cannot be separated from the education of her parents, and no matter what she does, her parents are always there to watch.

As parents, learn to let go appropriately and let your children move around on their own. This is the best way to "supplement calcium".