After 6 months of giving birth, most mothers choose to return to their jobs. However, for many reasons, many women choose to be full-time mothers.
Spend all your time with your children
Like many other mothers, Ms. NTV's morning in Tan Huong commune (Ninh Giang) begins with waking up the children. But instead of taking her children to school, Ms. V. spends the whole day taking care of and playing with her children. For more than 4 years now, being a full-time mother has become Ms. V's job.
After graduating from university, Ms. V. worked as an office worker in a big city. For many reasons, Ms. V. decided to return to her hometown to live and get married. Getting married and having children while her husband's job was often away from home, and her grandparents were both old, Ms. V. decided to quit her job to stay home and take care of her children. Thus, she became a "diaper" mother of two young children. Being a full-time mother is a stressful job, but in return, Ms. V.'s children have a happy life experience with their mother and have become active children.
“The pressures of work and daily life make mothers more irritable. Children are easily victims of their mothers. Later, when they grow up, they are prone to low self-esteem and shyness due to the trauma their parents caused them when they were young. Therefore, I decided to spend all my time accompanying my children in their early years. Although being a full-time mother is stressful, I try to control my emotions to raise my children better every day,” Ms. V. shared.
Ms. NTTH in Tuan Viet Commune (Kim Thanh) was also forced to become a full-time mother. Before getting married, Ms. H. was a teacher at an elementary school in Luong Son District, Hoa Binh Province. Marrying far away, and not receiving support from her grandparents for her young children, Ms. H. had to give up her beloved teaching job. Up to now, Ms. H.'s eldest son is in 3rd grade, and her youngest daughter is about to go to kindergarten, so the work of taking care of young children is less tiring than before.
Ms. H. said that although she spends all day with her children, the three of them are very happy. Every day, in addition to preparing meals for her children and doing housework, Ms. H. also learns methods to educate her children. She guides her children to learn about things around them and tries to give them interesting experiences about life.
Modern life has led to more and more people choosing to become full-time mothers. The advantage of being a full-time mother is that you can take care of your child all day long and not miss any of their developmental stages.
Feeling lonely and left behind
Being able to “follow” your child in their early years, but choosing to be a full-time mother is also a big sacrifice. Because not only does she have to give up her passion, she also has to do things like taking care of her child, taking her child out, cooking, monitoring her child’s developmental milestones… and many other unnamed housework. In particular, the feeling of loneliness, falling behind her friends and economic pressure are inevitable.
Despite choosing to be a full-time mother and receiving support from her family, Ms. V. had a period of depression. Her husband worked far away, her children were still young, and she had no experience as a mother. In the first months after giving birth to her first child, Ms. V. was always irritable.
When her child was sick, Ms. V. was always haunted by the harsh reproaches from others, making her feel tormented and lonely. After a few difficult months, with encouragement from her husband, Ms. V. gradually regained her direction. In addition to taking care of her children, she still spends a little time reading books, listening to Buddhist teachings, etc. This is a way for her to regain balance in life. Currently, Ms. V. has plans to return to work after her children reach preschool age. This will reduce financial pressure and give Ms. V. the opportunity to improve herself.
For Ms. H., giving up her teaching career was probably the most regrettable thing. “I used to feel inferior to my family and friends when I became a mother, especially when I saw my friends having opportunities for career advancement. However, being a full-time mother has given me many new experiences and the opportunity to be closer to my children. For me, every child will grow up and gradually leave their parents' arms. Work and career can come back after the children grow up and go to school,” Ms. H. said.
Choosing to be a full-time mother means sacrificing career advancement opportunities. Many mothers are forced to give up their goals, dreams, and career opportunities to devote all their time and energy to their children and family. In addition, social prejudices also put a lot of pressure on many women. When choosing to go back to work to start a new job, this mother also has to face many difficulties due to limited knowledge and experience. However, being able to spend all her time taking care of and being with her children in the first years of their lives is also a happy choice for mothers.
Khanh Van