Trend of finding temporary lover

They call these "da zi" (temporary lovers) - a phrase that describes relationships where one can share all thoughts and feelings for a long time but not interfere in each other's personal lives.

On China's Xiaohongshu social media platform, the keyword "temporary partner" is increasingly popular. Many people are willing to publicly list their interests such as eating, video games, sports, traveling, music, chatting, and even farming and raising animals to find a soul mate. Depending on the need, these relationships can be maintained through chatting on social media or meeting in person.

According to experts, this phenomenon appears to meet the need to share thoughts and feelings of young people when loneliness is increasing. In addition, the increasingly harsh standards for choosing a lover or life partner in China make building a serious relationship difficult.

This is the reason why many young people want to find "temporary lovers".

Many young Chinese are looking for romantic relationships without strings attached (illustrative photo)

One participant in the trend said: "I am really lonely but I am shy about social interactions. I hope to find someone I can talk to comfortably without fear of being judged, and sometimes remind me if I watch movies or eat too late to feel cared for."

"It's hard to find a perfect match in every way, and that's why temporary lovers come into existence. As long as you find someone who shares your interests, becomes a long-term friend, and encourages both of you to grow together," another person expressed.

Like Cola Monster, a 26-year-old woman from Guangdong Province, China, who found her soul mate online before graduating from university. The two supported and encouraged each other throughout the fierce recruitment period.

As a result, Cola Monster was accepted into a teaching position, and his temporary lover received a job offer at a national company. "We worked closely together and I believed he would be my spiritual support even if we didn't have a long-term relationship," Cola Monster said.

But relationships don’t always go smoothly. A 20-year-old man with a social media account named Chimoku, from Jilin Province (China), shared his not-so-favorite experience of finding a temporary lover.

After a long time chatting online, Chimoku organized a dinner with a male partner of the same age. But instead of chatting and sharing, this person "dominated" the meal by ordering a series of dishes according to his preferences and constantly bragging about himself. While Chimoku could only listen and bring disappointment.

Or in another date with a female partner, the young man's understanding of all topics made him fall in love, but the girl already had a lover. "I expected to find an ideal partner, but reality was not as I imagined," the young man admitted.

According to VnExpress