Upon receiving news that the company had cut his Tet bonus, Trong, 38 years old, decided to give his parents-in-law only half the amount of last year, then felt nervous and anxious.
Trong crossed out nearly half of the gift list for his parents, siblings, and friends that his wife had worked hard to write. "With economic difficulties, simple gifts are always better," Trong said, but his wife interrupted him: "Then you should give them yourself, I can't do it."
Returning to his hometown last weekend, Trong felt embarrassed and kept silent during the meal when he saw his brother-in-law and his wife showing off 50 million VND to his mother-in-law for Tet. His wife's reproach and resentful attitude made him feel useless, leading to insomnia and depression, so he had to seek help from psychologist Nguyen Huong Lan, Vietnam Happiness Academy.
As Tet approaches, the number of phone calls asking for Ms. Lan's advice increases by about 30%, most of whom are facing financial difficulties or pressure to "settle down". For example, Hanh, 33 years old, does not want to go back to her hometown to meet her parents and relatives because they always ask her about getting married. "You have to get to know each other and then fall in love, getting married will stabilize your life, how can you be a vagabond forever?" is what women often receive every Tet holiday.
"I also want to please my parents, but fate cannot be forced," Hanh confided.
The busy year-end work and constant pressure caused the girl to lose her appetite, become tired, and have insomnia. She was eventually diagnosed with anxiety disorder at Mai Huong Daytime Psychiatric Hospital.
Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Duc Loc, Director of the Institute for Social Life Research, commented that in the past 5 years, young people's fear of Tet has become more and more common. People over 25 often fall into this situation because this is the period when they have to face social expectations about stability, salary and marriage.
The survey showed that 44% of participants feared Tet because they would have to spend a lot, 27% were worried about being asked about their salary and bonuses, 26% were afraid of being urged to get married, and only 3% were worried because they would have to work during Tet or for other reasons.
The cultural clash between individualistic urban life and traditional family-oriented lifestyle is the root cause of Tet pressure. Young people in the city are used to privacy, while older people in the countryside believe that "asking about" shows concern. However, questions like "How much is your bonus?", "Have you been promoted yet?", "When will you build a house?", "Why don't you have a son?", "Have a baby soon" unintentionally push young people into a state of helplessness.
In addition, at the end of the year, the large amount of work and deadlines that must be completed before Tet overload everyone. Families have to worry about housework, gifts from relatives and other relationships, leading to financial crises.
Psychologist Nguyen Thi Tam said that prolonged stress not only affects psychology but also leads to health consequences, such as blood circulation disorders, reduced liver function, and even turns into mental disorders such as depression.
According to Ms. Nguyen Huong Lan, the way to deal with the pressure of Tet holiday starts with controlling emotions and building clear goals. Everyone should make a reasonable spending plan before Tet, prioritizing essential expenses. Be honest with your relatives about the economic situation to reduce expectations.
When asked sensitive questions, young people should respond with a humorous and relaxed attitude. For example, instead of staying silent when asked "When are you getting married?", you can reply: "Soon, don't worry!". This tactfulness helps balance the emotions of both sides.
In addition, you should spend time taking care of yourself such as taking a warm bath, reading books, and spending time on personal hobbies to help improve your mental health. If negative feelings persist, you should seek help from psychological experts.
Usually, the feeling of tiredness and sadness will temporarily disappear when the holiday season ends. However, in some people, this condition lasts longer and becomes more severe, easily turning into seasonal depression or anxiety disorder. At this time, you should seek help from a doctor or mental health professional.
"Everyone should think of Tet as a time of joy and reunion and not put burdens on each other. Let's think positively and everything will be easier," the expert said.
TH (according to VnExpress)