Important skills many parents forget to teach their children

This expert also believes that in the future, the world will have only two types of people: those who let others control their focus and lives, and those who "cannot be distracted".

After years of studying the intersection of psychology and technology, he realized that one of the biggest mistakes parents make is not giving their children control over their own time. Parents need to understand that it is okay for children to be responsible. Only when they learn to practice behavior management can they learn to manage their time and attention.

Teach children from an early age

When Eyal’s daughter turned 5 and kept asking for an iPad, he and his wife knew it was time to act. They respected her needs but explained in the most understandable way possible that too much screen time could interfere with the things she loved. For example, if she spent most of her time on apps and videos, she would have less time to play at the park, swim in the pool, or play with her parents.

Know how to be skeptical

Eyal also explained that the apps and videos on the iPad are made by very smart people. Their goal is to design them so that children will be hooked and watch them continuously.

It’s important that our kids understand the motivations of gaming and social media companies. While their products are fun and engaging, they’re also profiting from our time and attention. While this may seem like a big deal to a 5-year-old, Eyal feels it’s important to equip her with the ability to make decisions about screen time and enforce her own rules.

Children need enough autonomy.

Next, the Eyals asked their daughter what she thought about screen time. He admitted they were taking a risk by giving her autonomy, but it was worth a try.

He thought she would say “all day,” but instead she wanted to watch “two episodes.” Two episodes of a kids show on Netflix is ​​about 45 minutes, he explained, asking again. She agreed and made a deal with her dad. For Eyal, 45 minutes was enough because it would leave her plenty of time for other activities.

To make sure she doesn't watch more than 45 minutes a day, his daughter uses a stopwatch. Eyal makes sure to revisit the agreement if she can't keep her promise to herself and her parents.

Prevent distraction with an “effort pact”

When her daughter turned 10, Eyal still gave her control over her time. She made some adjustments as she got older, like switching daily screen time to weekend movie time. She also replaced her stopwatch with an Alexa smart speaker.

The important thing is that these are the child's rules, not yours, and the child is responsible for enforcing them. According to Eyal, this is an "effort pact," a kind of commitment to put in more effort to complete an action they don't want to do.

This kind of commitment can help us become more undistracted. Many parents want to know exactly how much time their child should spend watching TV or using a phone each day, but there is no absolute number. There are many factors that influence this, such as the child’s specific needs, what they do online, and what they do in real life.

Discuss and respect disagreement

The most important thing, says Eyal, is to involve children in the discussion and help them set their own rules. When parents impose limits without consulting children, they tend to get frustrated and cheat.

In fact, we will have heated debates about the role of technology in our families and in our children’s lives. There is no guarantee that parents and children will get along. But Eyal says that respecting differing opinions is a sign of a healthy family.

Distraction is a problem like any other. Whether in a large business or a small family, when we discuss issues openly and in an environment where we feel safe and supported, we can solve them together.

Technology is becoming more pervasive. In addition to helping our children understand that technology is designed to be highly addictive, we need to trust their ability to overcome distraction. It is their responsibility and right to use their time wisely.

According to VnExpress