I regret advising my wife to "quit her job and live at home with me"

Women can completely balance work and family, if their husbands share (Illustration photo)

I told my wife that tomorrow afternoon I was going to a factory worker's wedding and wouldn't be eating at home. She immediately got upset when she heard that.

According to my wife, I am the factory director, I don't need to attend, just send a congratulatory envelope.

Recently, my wife and I have had this kind of disagreement a lot. For my wife, besides working to earn money and having a family, other relationships, and other things are not considered important.

Many times, my wife and I argued over trivial matters. Each time, I felt regretful for advising my wife to quit her job and stay home to take care of the children.

Five years ago, we got married. My wife was an office worker at a large company. I worked in a private enterprise. We both had stable jobs and were not too young, so we wanted to have children right away after getting married.

After 2 years, despite going to the doctor, we still did not know the reason for the delay in having children. It was not until the 3rd year that my wife became pregnant, and the pregnancy was extremely difficult.

However, she still tried to go to work until the 8th month before asking for maternity leave. After giving birth, because the child was weak and often sick, and both parents lived far away and could not support her, I discussed with my wife about taking a break from work for a while.

I think I can support my family financially by myself. If I don't earn money now, I will do it later. Children need careful care in their early stages.

At first, my wife didn't want to quit her job, but I kept persuading her. The older child was 2 years old, and before we could send him to daycare, she found out she was pregnant. I encouraged her to "stay at home and I'll take care of her" for a few more years.

My wife is quick and capable. Since she has been at home, I have hardly had to do anything. From taking care of the children, cleaning the house, shopping, cooking, she has finished everything before I get home.

I just worry about making money. Everyone says I'm happy, I think so too. But that was only at first.

As time passed, my wife's personality changed completely. It seemed that being around the children, cooking, and diapers day after day had turned her into a different person.

Before, she was always smiling and cheerful, but now she is irritable. Over seemingly small things, instead of speaking gently, she gets angry.

At every meal, the story my wife tells usually revolves around how gas prices have increased or decreased, how the child at home is fussy and fussy... Then there's the story of the cheating neighbor being beaten by his wife, the neighbor who gossips about her daughter-in-law all day long...

I just listened and mumbled. She didn't care about anything but the things around her house and gossiping about celebrities' private lives on social media. We gradually lost the harmony in our outlook on life.

Regarding clothes, my wife became sloppy. It's been a long time since I saw her buy new clothes.

She said: "All day I just hang around from home to the market, from the bedroom to the kitchen, I don't go anywhere so why waste money buying clothes?"

Many times when I look at my wife with disheveled hair and sloppy clothes, I don't recognize the beautiful girl I once spent so much effort pursuing.

My wife was always a smart woman. She is still smart now but in a different way.

It's the way she controls her husband's relationships, the way she checks his phone, the way she questions him with sharp reasoning every time he comes home late.

My wife wants her husband to be like her, to put family first and come home after work. While with my job position, I cannot go home on time like an administrative staff.

There was a time when I was angry and advised my wife to go back to work to relax her mind and think freely. After hearing that, she got angry and cried, "Who told you to quit your job to stay home and take care of the children? Who once boldly declared, "I'll quit and stay home and you'll take care of me" and now says that?"

I admit, advising my wife to stay at home for many years was a wrong decision. Many women take care of their children and go to work at the same time. As long as the husband is willing to share the childcare and housework with his wife, things will not be too difficult.

I spent an evening talking to my wife. I thanked her for the sacrifices she had made over the years, giving up her job to spend full time taking care of the family. If being a housewife doesn’t make her happy, then go back to work.

Now, the children are old enough to go to school. I will try my best to help my wife with housework when I have time. After more than 3 years of being out of work, starting over will be difficult, but it will be okay.

This afternoon when I came home from work, I saw a few new dresses my wife had just bought hanging in the closet. On the table were several job applications. Thinking about seeing my wife's energetic, beautiful appearance every morning when she left the house, I suddenly smiled.

Women go to work not only to earn money, but also to have the opportunity to socialize, improve their knowledge and take care of themselves. Staying at home for a long time, wives will become mean, sometimes even underestimating their own value.

By Family