The suffering of husbands

One evening, the wife stood in front of the mirror, looked at herself for a while, then let out a sigh:
- Oh my god, am I this old, fat and ugly?
Seeing that her husband did not pay any attention, the wife continued to complain:
- Women are really miserable. After having a husband and children, their beauty has faded, now they are so miserable that they don't even dare look in the mirror anymore.
The husband sitting nearby reading the newspaper spoke up:
- You are luckier than me, why are you complaining?
The wife was annoyed:
- You men don't have to worry about losing your beauty, and you say I'm luckier.
The husband put down the newspaper and sighed:
- You only look at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes and you're miserable. But I have to look at you all day long without complaining.
- !?!

Help

A doctor, a teacher and a judge were close friends. One day while they were drinking together, the teacher raised his glass and said:
- The three of us have been friends for a long time and consider each other as real brothers. Today, I propose to raise a glass and swear to live and die together, to help each other in times of difficulty and trouble.
Three people drank wine and swore an oath.
- I am a teacher. When your children are old enough to go to school, I will take care of everything.
- I specialize in surgery. If you or your relatives need to have any body parts removed, just let me know.
- My job is too difficult to help you two. If any of you want a divorce, let me know.

100th person

A man patiently waited in front of a restaurant that had a promotional sign: “Free food and valuable gifts for the 100th lucky customer.” After diligently counting to the 99th person, he entered. After finishing his meal, the man happily said to the restaurant owner:
- Am I the lucky guest?
- No! You are just the first guest!
- What about the people who came in first?
- They came in just to ask how many guests there were!

The secret to losing weight

A patient asked the doctor:
- Doctor, what exercises should I do to lose weight?
- Please turn your head from right to left and vice versa.
- When do you practice like that, doctor?
- When people gave her food.
- !?!

The greater the risk, the more attractive.

An insurance agent is eagerly trying to convince a customer:
- Sir, if you lose your thumb, you will be compensated 10% of the insurance amount, which is about 100 million. And if you lose an arm, you will immediately receive 500 million...
- What is the maximum compensation?
- Yes, if you break your spine then... Then you will be rich.

HD(st)