Facts about marriage you should know before getting married

Research published in the American Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences by Dr. Mark Travers, psychologist (Cornell University and University of Colorado Boulder, USA) points out 6 surprising experiences couples go through when they first get married.

Must adjust daily routine

When you’re dating, you catch glimpses of each other’s quirks, and marriage will bring those quirks into focus. For example, preferences around housework, personal habits like biting your nails or leaving dishes in the sink. These may seem minor at first, but they can become annoying in the long run.

Participants reported struggling to maintain their identity as they built a new life with their partner. They had grown accustomed to acting on their own and now had to consider their partner’s feelings in almost every decision they made.

''I feel like I've really lost my independence. I don't want to be isolated from everything, but I also want to make some decisions for myself,'' one person said.

Relationships must be balanced.

Marriage brings new challenges in balancing time with your spouse and significant others like parents, siblings, and friends. You have to ask questions about where to go on vacation, how often to visit each other’s relatives, or maintaining friendships to avoid conflict.

Managing expectations and disappointments

When entering marriage, everyone has the expectation of a deep and fulfilling relationship. However, many people find that marriage cannot change their partner in the way they want, and quickly turn to disappointment.

Some even argue more frequently or struggle to find time for quality interactions. The difference between expectations and reality can be frustrating.

Accept new responsibilities

For many newlyweds, the sudden responsibility of making joint decisions can be stressful. Those who place a high value on finances, career paths, and future plans may find that the added responsibilities of marriage make them self-doubtful or fearful of meeting each other’s expectations.

However, some people also find this new phase of life fosters personal growth.

Take on unexpected roles and responsibilities

Some people are surprised by how gender roles affect the division of household tasks. One person may handle most of the financial matters, while the other handles more of the household responsibilities.

Disagreements and housework are quite common, especially if one partner feels they are shouldering more than the other.

Changes in sexuality

Changes in physical intimacy are another surprising reality that many newlyweds face. Some who had an active sex life before marriage may find that frequency changes due to work stress, fatigue, or new responsibilities.

They also face inconsistencies in when and how often the other person wants sex.

For people who wait until marriage to have sex, expectations or assumptions may not match reality, especially if based on the media's idealized image.

While there may be surprises, they are not a sign of a failing relationship but rather an opportunity to grow together and learn about each other's deeper values, interests, and needs.