It's hard to get married because of "sky-high" selection criteria

Kim Jeong-sik, 28 years old(name changed)He invested a lot of time and money in finding the right partner. But until now, he still torments himself with the question "Why is it so hard to find the right person to marry?".

Kim used to be attracted by romance and natural attraction. Now he has to consider whether the person is capable, financially stable and suitable for future development.

For Kim, marriage is not just about love or fate, it is the foundation for building a decent family. The most suitable partner should be someone with the same or higher socio-economic status as her.

"I don't date incompatible people, I just choose the right person to have a successful marriage," said the 28-year-old man.

Kang, an office worker in Seoul, is also actively looking for a boyfriend to marry. The 28-year-old woman always receives brief introductions about height, address, company name, alma mater, and even MBTI (a popular personality test in Korea) from the men she matches.

According to her, an unwritten rule among young Koreans in their 20s and 30s is to prepare a self-introduction like the one above, along with 2-3 photos, to facilitate meetings arranged by acquaintances.

Instead of meeting through dating apps, many young people prefer to meet through acquaintances. One of the reasons is that it is easier to get to know the person being introduced and less likely to encounter a scammer.

"If I feel like the person I'm matched with isn't a good fit or isn't the person I'm looking for, I'll pass their information on to my friends. If we both find it suitable, I'll introduce them to each other," Kang said.

Although she is tired of constantly meeting new people, the 28-year-old will continue this process in search of a successful marriage. For Kang, this is like in business, you have to consider carefully before "signing the contract".

Kim and Kang both believe that successful marriages are not based on love. They were born in the 1990s when South Korea achieved economic growth and technological advancement, leaving this generation facing many pressures and challenges in a highly competitive society.

Observers have noted that changes in society have affected the way young people make important life choices, including marriage.

Kwak Keum-joo, a psychology professor at Seoul National University, points to popular perceptions in South Korea that marriage is one of the keys to a successful life.

"South Korea is a society that encourages individuals to strive to improve, earn more money and achieve promotion. This is why many people choose their partners based on factors such as career, salary, appearance, age and lifestyle. Even their parents' jobs, education level and pension are also factors to evaluate," Kwak said.

In the race to find the ideal partner, Koreans tend to rank and list generalized standards of what is considered good and bad. Instead of finding a compatible partner, individuals look for those with the highest economic and social ranks, such as graduating from a prestigious university or working at a large corporation, said Professor Kwal.

Dou Information, one of the largest matchmaking companies in Korea, said the "ideal husband" is usually over 1.78 m tall, two years older than his wife, a university graduate, an office worker, earning nearly 61 million won (1.2 billion VND) annually, and owning assets of 335 million won.

Meanwhile, the "perfect wife" must be over 1.64m tall, 2-3 years younger than her husband, graduate from university, be an office worker, earn 44 million won per year and own assets of 217 million won.

These criteria are mentioned in the reality TV show.Couple Palace, which provides insights into the 2024 marriage market in Korea. The program features 100 single men and women who expressed their desire to find a partner based on criteria such as income, assets, occupation, and loans.

Critics found the show successfully recreated the paradox of the boom in matchmaking amid record low birth and marriage rates.

The number of marriages in South Korea has been steadily falling over the past decades from around 435,000 in 1996 to below 200,000 in 2021. The number further dropped to a record low of 192,000 in 2022, a drop of more than 55% in 25 years.

A 2023 survey by Statistics Korea found that 50% of the population considers marriage to be necessary. Just over 15% of the population over the age of 13 responded that “marriage is a must” in 2022, down more than 20% from 2012. This view is mainly held by women and is even stronger among those who are not married. Only 29% of teenagers consider marriage to be a necessity in life.

Customers seeking matchmaking services in South Korea are expanding. Duo Information reports revenue of 38.2 billion won in 2023, up 5.2% from 2022.

An employee at this matchmaking company said that instead of spending time and patience on regular dates, customers want to find someone with suitable conditions.

“Our job is to shorten the process, revealing important details like family background and income early on – things that would be considered rude to ask on the first date,” the person said.

A man surnamed Jang is also using a matchmaking agency to find a wife. The 29-year-old believes that marriage can be a "social ladder" and allow him to climb up the social ladder.

"Let's be honest, even though this may seem snobbish. But the reality is that people always want to marry someone better than themselves because they want to quickly raise their social status," Jang said.