When should you not get back with an ex?

Recently, there has been a lot of information that the famous Hollywood couple, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are in the process of divorce. The two were in love, engaged but broke up in early 2004. In 2021, they reunited and got married in the summer of 2022.

Stories like these two stars are not uncommon. Korean researchers have pointed out a fact, the probability of couples getting back together after breaking up is 82% but then, only 3% can go all the way to the end together. 97% break up for the same reason as the first time they broke up.

Courtney Boyer, relationship expert and bestselling authorNot Tonight, Honeypoints out important signs to look out for before getting back with an ex.

Have you both truly forgiven each other for your past?

The importance of forgiveness is always mentioned in every relationship. Unresolved resentment will fester and weaken your relationship, even if you rekindle an old flame. If you are not willing to forgive your partner or yourself for their past, it will haunt your current relationship.

It's important to identify why the relationship ended in the first place. What caused the demise? Be really honest about what led to the relationship failing and how to prevent it in the future.

Do you know what you really want?

What is the purpose of having this person in your life? Is it to start a family? Is it to meet a specific need? Be clear about what you want and make sure the other person is clear about it. Then see if they can actually meet that need.

"Deciding whether or not to rekindle an old relationship is a very personal and subjective decision," says American psychologist Dr. Becky Spelman. She recommends having an open and honest conversation with your partner and seeking guidance from friends and family members before making a decision.

It is important to determine whether you and your partner have compatible values, goals, and aspirations. It is important to have common ground and a shared vision for the future to ensure a solid foundation for the relationship. Both parties should express a desire to reconnect and invest in the future of the relationship. It is important to ensure that both parties are on the same page and are willing to put in the effort necessary to make the relationship work.

Dr. Becky Spelman also points out an important sign that you should not get back together with your ex: "If you are more self-critical and unable to deal with sadness from a distance in the relationship, this can make it difficult for the two of you to grow further. If your partner does not allow you to confide everything, it may be time to completely cut off the relationship."