For a marriage to last, it must be "well-matched"?

When talking about "equal social status", people often think of ancient feudal times, when marriage valued the importance of the male and female families being equal in class, wealth, and social status.

Until now, it seems that this concept no longer exists, but when men and women are equal, free to love and marry, some people have realized that a lasting, harmonious marriage at least has the element of "equal social status". Is that true?

On Weibo (China's largest social network), a girl shared her story. Accordingly, she and her boyfriend fell in love at first sight and got married a few months later. After a few days at her husband's house, the girl regretted her hasty decision to get married when she witnessed how her father-in-law treated her mother-in-law.

The father-in-law sold groceries and the mother-in-law took care of three meals a day. Every day, the mother-in-law was busy cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry, while the father-in-law just sat there drinking tea and reading the newspaper. The mother-in-law had back pain but was never asked about it, he just scolded her when she was slow at work or did not please him.

After leaving her parents' house, the girl said that she felt her father-in-law was too much. The boy glared:"Dad is the one who earns money so he has that right."The answer surprised the girl.

When the girl and the boy started living together, she felt like a mother-in-law figure as she did the housework alone without her husband's help.

"Every time he comes home from work, my husband says he's hungry but then just jumps into the TV or plays games on his phone. Whenever he's asked to help his wife cook and clean, he glares and yells: Isn't cooking and cleaning a woman's natural duty?"girl said

Until one day, she couldn't stand it anymore and gave her husband an ultimatum, either change or divorce. She said on Weibo:"I really regret not going to his house sooner...".

In a major survey called "Survey on Relationships and Marriage in China" conducted by media outlets across the country, 21,694 Chinese singles aged 23-35 were questioned over a one-month period, two-thirds of whom were female.

The results show that these singles are increasingly returning to traditional approaches to marriage, from matchmaking to considering whether their partner is a "good match" according to social standards.

Economic and social factors in China today (from skyrocketing housing prices, a culture of materialism to a gender imbalance) are increasingly putting pressure on many people to get married.

For example, the first generation of men born under the “one-child” policy are now reaching marriageable age. They are under increasing pressure from their parents to have daughters-in-law, but women of that age are far fewer than men.

What is more important, however, the survey concluded is that attitudes toward marriage and the journey toward family are increasingly moving toward traditional values.

More than 60% of singles surveyed said they believe that social compatibility is an important factor in finding a soul mate. This group cited social experience and family background as beneficial to a successful marriage.

Thai Khang Vinh - a famous Chinese TV host in the program "Kangxi is here" once said:"In my personal opinion, a well-matched marriage must be a balance of cultural level as well as living conditions of two people. Different living conditions will have different world views. If two people have a large gap between the three similarities, no matter how much they love each other, they will eventually encounter many conflicts in real life."

This veteran MC gave an example: the wife wanted to go see a movie, but her husband refused."Why spend that money when you can watch videos at home"Or like you want to take an English class, but your husband yells at you."You can't learn anything in such chaotic classes."You want to have a romantic anniversary trip, but your wife thinks it's a waste...

"In marriage, there are not only the moon and stars, the flowers and leaves in the sky, but also the oil and salt of reality. If you want to see each other in these trivial matters, you must choose people who have similar values ​​to you."Thai Khang Vinh said.

The growing number of lonely hearts in China looking for their other half has also made dating TV shows the most popular in the country in recent years.

However, many people attending the above shows have caused controversy when they publicly expressed their changing attitudes towards dating and marriage.

Last year, female contestant Ma Nuo of the show "If you are the one" shocked the public in China when she responded to an unemployed male contestant who invited her to go for a romantic bike ride:"I'd rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle."

Marriage must consider family circumstances, that's why the ancients had the proverb "A suitable match".

Some people disagree with this view because they think it is not true to reality. "Even Cinderella got a prince" or "Many rich girls still marry poor boys?".

"People love each other by five senses, but live together thanks to three similarities: knowledge, economy and family love", Mr. Ta Phuc Chiem, professor of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, affirmed and emphasized"In fairy tales, people never mention whether Cinderella really lived happily after marrying the prince. Nor does anyone give a specific example of whether a rich young lady really gets along with a husband from a poor family."

It can be said that, social status is not necessarily a bad concept. It is a lens to choose love, ignoring love at first sight, lightning.

It promises balance not only in starting point, economy, culture, class but also in personality, communication needs... Compatible backgrounds make it easier for couples to be in harmony in understanding each other.

However, consideration and calculation should only be at a certain level, as a form of support, finding a partner. The most important thing of a sustainable marriage must still come from the love, tolerance and understanding of each person for each other.