Headache for International Women's Day gifts

Choosing a gift for his wife on International Women's Day, March 8, that satisfies the criteria of "sophistication and economy" has been a headache for Mr. Hong Son for the past 20 years.

"When I gave her flowers, she said it was sloppy and not sincere enough. When I chose clothes or perfume, she said it was formal and lacked depth," said a 54-year-old man in Vinh City, Nghe An.

Having been married for 20 years, Mr. Son understands that his wife considers a perfect holiday to include gifts that suit her taste and a handwritten letter, a party at a fancy restaurant, and a photographer to capture beautiful moments to show off to friends. "My wife's series of requests makes me sweat, but I try to follow them to avoid 'storms' in the house," Mr. Son said.

This is also the reason why since the end of February, this man has been thinking of ideas and choosing gifts to please his wife.

Not only Mr. Son is tired, his three sons-in-law in Hanoi also have to take advantage of the time to return to their hometown or send gifts to their mother-in-law on March 8. The gifts must be unique, have high value and cannot be duplicated. "Every year when this time comes, the men in my family are under pressure," he said.

"Pressure" is also the feeling of Van Viet in Hanoi every holiday or anniversary because his girlfriend takes giving gifts very seriously.

Knowing that his girlfriend likes handmade items, at the end of February, the 22-year-old man signed up for a bag knitting and teddy bear making course to surprise his girlfriend on March 8. This was quite difficult because Viet is not good at making things. "I was not forced to give it, but I still felt pressured because the gift not only shows my feelings but also makes her proud in front of her friends," Viet said.

Reporter's notes Workshops on making teddy bears, crocheted flowers or handbags in Hanoi attract many people to register before holidays such as February 14 or March 8. Many students are men, wanting to prepare gifts for their girlfriends and relatives. The keywords "gift suggestions for lovers, mothers" also attract hundreds of thousands of views on social networking platforms.

Psychologist Le Thi Minh Hoa (Ho Chi Minh City) said that the psychological pressure of giving gifts on holidays for men is still common. She has consulted on many cases of family conflicts just because the wife did not have a gift or received an unsatisfactory gift on March 8.

However, women's desire to receive gifts also comes from many reasons. According to experts, holidays are milestones that they easily remember, and receiving gifts on this day can also foster feelings between the two. Receiving gifts, women feel appreciated, and both have more moments together on special occasions.

Some women also suffer from "herd syndrome", seeing others with gifts that they themselves want. In the holiday atmosphere filled with flowers and gifts from the streets to companies or on social networks, not receiving a gift can easily make them feel sad.

Having difficulty choosing and giving gifts has caused some people to react in the opposite way. Many opinions say that March 8 is now a formality, men are forced to give gifts even though they do not understand the meaning. In a survey of more than 5,000 readers of the reporter with the question "What do you think about International Women's Day March 8?", 52% said "it is increasingly formal and materialistic", 29% said "it is not necessary" to have a March 8. Another survey showed that nearly 70% of opinions said that there are many ways to express feelings, it is not necessary to choose the right occasion March 8.

"The psychology of some men not liking March 8 is understandable," said education expert Vu Thu Huong, former lecturer at Hanoi Pedagogical University.

March 8 was born from the international movement for women's equality, with the slogan "8-hour work day - Equal work - Equal wages - Protection of mothers and children". This day therefore reminds everyone that women are still disadvantaged, society must do more to promote gender equality, as well as recognize their sacrifices.

But the meaning of this day is different from the past, Vietnamese women have been treated more fairly. Their role is increasingly promoted, breaking out of the family framework. Many people think that if we honor sacrifice as a noble quality, it is no different from encouraging women to continue to sacrifice. If so, society will sink them deeper into accepting and enduring disadvantages.

"Therefore, the existence of a day dedicated to women is not enough to achieve complete gender equality, according to many people," said Ms. Huong.

Experts say that if the relationship between two people is good enough, it is completely possible to agree not to give gifts on this occasion. "Normally, they treat each other badly, but only show concern on March 8, giving gifts is meaningless," the expert said.

"But giving gifts also has undeniable effects. This is an opportunity for men to understand the psychology and needs of the person they love, to express their feelings and help strengthen their relationship," said Ms. Minh Hoa.

To avoid the "burden" of giving gifts, every year on March 8, Mr. Dinh Tuan, 29 years old, in Thai Binh, often takes time off work to take his wife and children out to eat. According to him, spending time with family is a way to express love instead of giving extravagant, wasteful gifts. His wife supports his idea.

Tran Du, 26 years old, in Hoan Kiem district, Hanoi, agrees that giving gifts to girlfriends on anniversaries is a way to "keep the fire" in love. Before each holiday, male office workers often search for and prepare "trendy" gifts, gift boxes containing snacks that his girlfriend likes, or order couple shirts to create surprises.

"Women are difficult to please, but if you know how, they are very lovable. When they are happy, love will last longer," Du said.