Divorce Alarm in Hai Duong: Part 2 - "A Thousand and One" Reasons for Breakups

''If you can survive, survive, if not, disband''

Through the practice of adjudicating marriage and family cases, Judge Nguyen Thi Ngoc Bich, Chief Justice of Kim Thanh District People's Court, found that most of the plaintiffs and defendants gave reasons for divorce as economic conflicts; adultery; conflicts in "bedtime" matters; domestic violence; gambling, alcoholism, drug addiction; conflicts with parents and siblings on both sides; conflicts in the relationship between mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, son-in-law and parents-in-law, between parents on both sides, between sisters-in-law, sisters-in-law...

“In the past, divorce often happened to couples in their 40s and 50s who endured and tried to change and fix each other until there was no result and then they had to let go. But now, the familiar phrase is: This is all I can do, if I can live, I will live, if not, I will break up. Many couples get married without understanding each other thoroughly, confusing love with sexual attraction or getting married because of selfish, personal calculations,” Judge Ngoc Bich emphasized.

At the divorce settlement session on June 24 at the People's Court of Hai Duong province, only the wife, Ms. PTL (born in 1994, in Thanh Mien district), was present. Ms. L.'s husband, Mr. NTB, was absent. Ms. L. married Mr. B. in 2013 when she was 19 years old. Four years later, the couple had conflicts due to disagreements in their views. Mr. B. played around and refused to work, and was often unreasonably jealous, leading to frequent arguments between the couple. Due to irreconcilable conflicts, Ms. L. returned to her parents' house in 2017. In 2020, Mr. B. went to work in Taiwan, and the couple did not contact and did not care about each other. Although both families reconciled and advised, there was no result. Ms. L. determined that the couple's feelings were gone and requested the court to grant a divorce.

Adultery is a cause that many people consider “unforgivable”. At the divorce trial on September 26, 2022 at the People's Court of Hai Duong City, Ms. NND (born in 1993, in Hai Duong City) bitterly stated: “My husband and I have had conflicts since I was pregnant. Mr. D. (Ms. D.'s husband) had a relationship with another woman. I alone take care of the family's finances and pay off my husband's debts. Too miserable, I filed for divorce to find a way out”.

Domestic violence, social evils; marital discord, frequent conflicts; gambling and alcohol addiction... are also reasons leading to broken marriages. Many cases brought to trial by the People's Court at two levels in the province were because the husband was in the process of being tried for violating the law. During their marriage, Tran Van Luan (born in 1986, in Kim Xuyen commune, Kim Thanh) repeatedly used his hands, rice cooker cord, belt, plastic comb, wooden bedside bar, stair handrail to beat his wife. Once, Luan used hot water from a thermos to splash on his wife. When his wife was about 7 months pregnant, Luan beat her, causing 61 skin burns on her face, chest, back, hands... causing 48% physical damage. Before bringing the case to trial, the Court granted Luan a divorce from his wife. The Trial Panel sentenced Tran Van Luan to 6 years and 3 months in prison for intentionally causing injury, and 3 years and 3 months in prison for abusing his wife.

Think more openly

Deputy Chief Justice of the Provincial People's Court Nguyen Hai Bang said that, in addition to the common causes of conflicts in family life, from a more macro social perspective, there are a number of other causes leading to divorce such as differences in education, living standards, gender, age... Increasingly, awareness of the law, awareness of human rights, and gender equality is getting better. Women have learned to use legal tools to protect themselves, overcome barriers of social prejudices about divorce to proactively end the marriage relationship when the husband commits acts of domestic violence or seriously violates obligations... The telling figures show that about 70% of divorce cases in the province are proactively requested (sued) by women.

In court, each time a divorce petition is received, the officer in charge always carefully studies the circumstances of each case to reconcile and mend. Despite efforts, the reconciliation rate is not high. With an open mind, many couples, before going to court, have reached an agreement on assets and child custody obligations, and come to court only to complete legal procedures.

In addition, with its favorable location and high economic growth rate, Hai Duong is a destination that attracts many workers from other provinces to work and live. This is also an objective reason leading to the increase in the number of divorces. Preliminary statistics from the Provincial People's Court show that many cases of marriage in other localities, then coming to Hai Duong to work, reside and divorce in Hai Duong. This number is concentrated in the families of workers in concentrated industrial zones.

Next: The pain behind the sentences