Why do men have few close friends?

This is the result of a survey published by the Pew Research Center (USA) in October 2023. Another study by the American Enterprise Institute published in June 2021 also added that only 21% of men receive emotional support from friends, compared to 41% of women.

Men are less likely to confide in close friends, and are even more likely to turn to their spouses or parents than friends when they have personal problems. While studies have shown that having close friends can act as a buffer against loneliness and isolation, taking some of the burden off of partners and making people happier, cultivating and maintaining friendships is not always easy, especially for men.

So why do men have trouble making friends?

The decline in friendships is due to a number of factors. Men spend more time at work than previous generations. This can make it harder to make and maintain friends.

Gender stereotypes may be involved in why men tend to have fewer close friends. Traditionally, men are socially stereotyped as tough and not expressive or open about their feelings, while girls are encouraged to be caring, affectionate, and empathetic.

Paul Greene, a clinical psychologist in New York, says friendships often require showing “vulnerability,” and men resist that. The expert points out that men often make friendships a low priority. Deep, quality friendships take time and effort, and most men don’t put enough of that into them.

Plus, sticking to what’s comfortable may have a lot to do with why many men only share vulnerable feelings with their wives. According to therapist Kurt Smith, for many men, the only relationship where they have a deep enough connection to share their emotions is with their mother or partner.

Psychologist Nick Bognar believes that men should have close friends too. Connecting with friends will boost your self-esteem and, if the friendship is genuine, will strengthen your support system. If you are going through a difficult situation, such as a health crisis or divorce, you can turn to a friend to share your feelings. It is nice to have someone to support you through what you are going through and feel close to others.