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The biggest shortage of single people

TH (according to VnExpress) November 2, 2024 14:10

We often have the stereotype that 'being single always comes with loneliness' but in reality the biggest lack of single people is 'the feeling of being number one' for someone.

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When you're going through a tough time, knowing that someone is always there to count you out as "number one" can be a huge boost (illustrative photo)

In your daily life, you are single and have many people around you, including friends, family, and colleagues. However, their priorities are usually their spouse, children, and work. Even for those with families, you may be ranked after the babysitter or the plumber.

When you're young, your inadequacies may not be apparent because you're surrounded by other people in the same boat. They say to each other, "We'll always be best friends." But as time goes on, more and more people find their "number one." You'll fall down the list, or even fall off the priority list.

We all love knowing that someone wakes up and wonders how you are doing or thinks about you before making plans. When you are struggling, knowing that someone is there to put you first can be very motivating.

It's comforting when someone wants to hear or do things first with you. Likewise, when that person does and experiences something important, you'll be the first to know.

There's no denying that feeling of "being someone's number one" makes us happy.

If you are single, how do you deal with this lack?

Dr. Bruce Y. Lee, associate professor at the Bloomberg School of Public Health, Johns Hopkins University (USA), notes that "being someone's number one" is not always good.

First, in a bad relationship, you may be the first target of manipulation. The person may wake up every day and think of you first in the way of a villain.

Plus, the need to always be someone's only one can become a bit too unrealistic. Rather than always being completely committed as one, a healthy relationship requires a healthy balance between having a life together and "owning your own space."

Monday, Even in a healthy relationship, you may not be your number one priority. Your number one might be the electrician when something goes wrong in your house. It could also be something like work or a game you’re playing.

Even if no one else is around, you can still fall to fifth place on the priority list. After having children, for example, most couples report that they are no longer a priority to each other.

The longer a relationship lasts, the more likely you are to experience periods of non-compliance. No relationship is ever smooth sailing. Some of the best marriages can go through periods where neither partner wants to interact.

People can get bored with each other or go through periods where other priorities take precedence, such as when a family member is sick.

Tuesday, If your goal is simply to be someone's number one, it's easy. The hard part is finding someone you want to be number one with too. An unbalanced relationship can lead to feelings of resentment and guilt.

Being single but having a good relationship with the people around you is much better than having a bad romantic relationship. Being single also gives you freedom, more opportunities to develop yourself and do what you want.

Make sure you're "putting yourself first." That is, putting yourself first in the right way, not in a narcissistic way. Knowing how to make yourself happy is important. "Don't depend on other people to put you first," says Bruce Y. Lee, Ph.D.

Also, build a network of friends. While each of them may not put you first all the time, together they can do so. You keep everyone connected, being the most important person in that network. By being a giver, you never know how high you might rank in the hearts of others.

It’s normal to feel frustrated sometimes about not being someone else’s number one. But don’t compare your single situation to your ideal situation. That’s like comparing your income to that of billionaire Elon Musk.

Also, remember that nothing comes for free. It takes a lot of work to build and maintain any relationship that makes you feel like you're number one.

TH (according to VnExpress)
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The biggest shortage of single people