The Value of Calmness When Criticized

However, you don't have to act that way. If you look at other people's criticism as an opportunity to learn more about yourself or your current relationship with the other person, you'll see the value in criticism.

According to British psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, there is always a difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Therefore, when faced with criticism, try to objectively understand the unpleasant feedback. The more you accept criticism, the more likely you are to benefit from it.

Four reasons to take criticism calmly.

The first,Criticism can raise your awareness of the need to further develop a skill set you thought was sufficient.

Critics may point out issues you haven't considered or knowledge you don't have. Being willing to learn new things can make your work more efficient, more accurate, more precise, and more up-to-date.

Monday,Criticism can help you gain a competitive advantage over your competitors, whether it’s a raise, bonus, or promotion. If you don’t want to be overlooked because your performance is lagging behind others, being receptive to feedback is invaluable, regardless of who or how it’s delivered. Knowing why your personal performance is slipping can help you address your shortcomings.

In personal matters as well, if you want to be more appreciated and respected by your friends, family and acquaintances, any feedback from them about the limitations in the way you carry out your duties and responsibilities, is indispensable.

Tuesday,Criticism can help you identify your "blind spots." Almost all of us unconsciously develop bad habits that can unintentionally offend others, expose our insensitivity, or reveal our complacency, ignorance, or arrogance.

Initially, negative feedback may make you feel sad, anxious, or angry. It would be unwise to dismiss criticism just because you don't like the unpleasant feelings it stirs up.

Wednesday,Criticism, indirectly, can help you become more compassionate, curious, and understanding of others. It can also strengthen your relationships by making you more aware of each other’s boundaries, needs, and expectations. If the other person is your partner, it can help the relationship become closer, more emotionally secure, more trusting, and more intimate.

How to stay calm when faced with criticism?

First, remind yourself that your slip-ups are not a sign of intellectual incompetence. No one ever gets their first draft perfect, so if you take the time to revise and refine, your next version will be more successful. The effort will help you determine what you want to continue or abandon altogether. Either way, you’ll learn something you might have missed before.

Next, don't "personalize" criticism. Understanding someone else's motives for pointing out some inaccuracies can help you make corrections or changes.

It's important to understand the other person's intentions when giving you feedback, especially if it's mild and delivered respectfully. Ask them what they're thinking when they give you feedback, but most importantly, be careful not to let any insecurities dictate your response.

Finally, cultivate an open mind instead of a defensive response, otherwise you won't be able to take anything of value away from criticism.