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Social norms, economic pressures, and gender stereotypes have created a definition of a father as one who is responsible for and provides for the family, rather than the emotional or caring aspect.
For many years, television, movies, and media have continuously tried to change the image of fathers through game shows and movies, especially in countries like Korea, Japan, China, and Vietnam.
Most of them aim for understanding between father and child, where children can freely express their feelings openly to their father, and vice versa, the father can also express his thoughts and love on behalf of the mother.
In fact, the role of the father in the family has changed a lot over the past hundreds of years.
Men are socially assigned the responsibility of providing for and protecting the home. Sometimes, their presence in the family gradually diminishes, even becoming strangers to loved ones when faced with prejudice and economic pressure.
"A man's masculinity has come to be defined by his ability to provide for his family, rather than by emotional or nurturing aspects. He's always busy with other social roles before coming home," says Frank Pittman, author of Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity.
Pressure of "economic pillar"
Under the influence of social concepts, women gradually take on the main role of nurturing and caring for the family; while men shoulder more responsibility for providing for and protecting family members than before.
At that time, the status of men in the family was assessed by their ability to earn money to take care of the family. This created stereotypes and gender pressure because a father who was not rich or powerful would be considered by many as "a failure".
Therefore, they have to struggle to find their own value outside the family environment. They not only want to find a stable job, but also need to make an effort to receive satisfaction and recognition from superiors and colleagues.
Over time, men's new roles have somewhat separated them from their families, creating obstacles for fathers in connecting and sharing caregiving responsibilities with their partners and children.
"My father was a tall man, the main economic pillar of the family. In fact, he hardly spoke to us, but always tried to meet financial requests because it was one of the few ways he showed affection for the family," shared Noah benShea, author of The Journey to Greatness and How to Get There.
With that pressure, many generations of fathers who only know economic responsibility were born, creating psychological scars for many children. They longed to receive recognition and acknowledgement from their fathers, hoping to be supported and protected mentally and physically by the "pillar of the family".
Psychology Today suggests that this could be creating psychological scars for generations of young people, causing them to mistake toxic masculinity for a way to express emotions and interact with those around them.
Change
Nowadays, social concepts that define the roles of men and women in family and society have changed positively.
Women are no longer confined to the kitchen and are encouraged to express themselves in other roles. As for men, they are more comfortable expressing their emotions and taking care of the family.
In this way, men gradually regain the balance between their responsibilities to their families and society, removing toxic stereotypes about masculinity. They can share life's pressures with their partners, making their children feel valued.
"The 'caregiver' role offers men more benefits than 'breadwinner' because they can express their emotions and rearrange their priorities. That's completely normal, or perhaps the most manly thing a man can get from the experience of caring for a family," says Frank Pittman.
He believes that many young couples today define "having children is to nurture and educate", not just to fulfill the role of building a family. That makes them aware of the importance of nurturing the family, joining hands in the child's growth process.
"I wonder if this generation of 'new dads' can heal the psychological wounds of fatherhood that have plagued previous generations. I hope so, because more and more men are willing to participate in household chores and find ways to express their feelings directly to their children - something that was rare in the past," said Pittman.
According to Zing
