6 ways parents communicate to help children understand and be smart

Raising and communicating with children to help them understand, be obedient, and develop their intelligence is an art, requiring parents to be extremely skillful. In the process of raising children, their psychology is not always stable. Children will go through many stages of psychological crisis, when they easily develop reactions against their parents to express their "ego".

Here are 6 ways to communicate to help children understand and be intelligent.

1. Spend more time talking and being close to children

This is the foundation for parents to successfully raise and communicate with their children. Parents should spend a lot of time playing with their children, talking to them, and caring about their children's interests and problems. More importantly, parents should listen to what their children want to say. When parents truly understand their children, they will discover their children's unique personalities. At the same time, children will also learn to listen, care, and understand others from their parents.

When parents and children are close to each other, speaking loving words to each other, children will easily absorb the teachings of their parents. Children's obedience comes from feeling the love from their parents. That will help children change from within, and is much more effective.

2. Focus on child behavior

Instead of just praising for the sake of it, or scolding children for being naughty in general, parents should spend more time focusing on their children's specific behaviors. That will have a greater impact on their children. For example, when they finish playing, their children know how to put away their toys. Instead of just praising "you are very good", parents can say "you know how to put away your toys after playing, that is very good, I praise your actions". Or for example, when children refuse to eat, instead of just saying "you are so naughty", say "I don't like you being lazy to eat like that, that is not a good action". Being specific and clear like this helps children easily recognize their mistakes or praised actions so that they can correct/promote them.

3. Take advantage of children's feelings of guilt and remorse

When children do something wrong, parents criticize harshly or shame their actions, making them feel ashamed, only making matters worse. Psychology professor Adam Grant believes that children's shame makes them more impulsive. Children will easily do other wrongdoings to cover up, or react to what adults think of them. However, children's feelings of guilt and remorse can become the motivation for them to change.

If your child does something wrong, don't remind them of their mistakes too many times, making them feel ashamed and rebellious. Let your child calm down, then point out their mistakes. When your child realizes that their behavior is wrong, tell them what they should do to correct their mistakes. This way of communicating will help your child be more obedient and well-behaved.

4. Don't try to force children to do something.

Children also have their own thoughts, needs and interests, so parents should not try to force them to do things they do not want to do. Otherwise, children will tend to rebel and disobey. Instead of forcing children to do this or that, parents should sit down, look into their children's eyes and gently ask them why they do not do it. When children feel respected, they will share their thoughts with their parents. Then adults consider their children's thoughts and analyze for them to understand the right/wrong of their actions.

5. Help your child feel useful

Parents should let their children participate in housework from an early age. The work depends on the child's strength and age. It is best to start when the child is a toddler and before the child goes to kindergarten. This will teach the child to be independent. They will soon realize which actions are right and which actions are not encouraged. Besides, the child will also learn how to share work and help others. This brings children joy and satisfaction with themselves. The child will feel useful and will be more and more active.

Parents can enhance their children's value by saying things like: "Sister... can you play with your younger sibling for a few minutes?", "Can you help me sweep the floor?",... And when children help you, parents should not hesitate to say "thank you" or praise them. Children are just like adults, they like to be recognized!

6. Avoid "bribing" children

When children do something wrong, parents rush to scold them. They burst into tears, making adults confused and quickly "surrender". To stop their children from making trouble, many parents "bribe" them with candy, chips, or promise to buy this or that according to their wishes. This is something that should not be done.

Children will quickly learn how to act spoiled to make requests of their parents. Later on, when asked to do anything, they will demand benefits. Therefore, it is necessary to stop spoiling children like that so that they will be more obedient.

By Family