5 Boundaries to Set with Your In-Laws

In-laws, from strangers, become close friends. Whether you get along with them or not, it is essential to have certain boundaries.

In an appropriate way, you should share so that your in-laws understand the rules you and your husband have agreed to build in your married life that your parents should respect.

Respect the personal space of spouses and children

You and your husband need to have private personal space, such as a private house or room depending on the economic conditions of each family, and your in-laws must respect this so that your relationship can be maintained in a healthy way.

Sanam Hafeez, a New York-based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind, says you need to be tactful in expressing your views and letting them know that you need privacy in your living space. This sharing is necessary, because parents may have different views than you. This helps parents understand when to come to their child's house and when to/not to go into their child's room.

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Respect your child's schedule

Family therapist Jennifer Kelman says it’s important to share your schedule and the nature of your work with your parents. If you don’t clarify this information, your in-laws may call multiple times a day or make demands that you can’t meet.

Kelman explains that this is a boundary that many people have difficulty sharing specifically, but is very necessary. For example, if grandparents in the countryside often call to check on the children at 7 p.m. - when you are busy cooking after a day of work, you should tactfully tell your husband to share with his parents, helping to establish a "time boundary" so that they do not call at inappropriate times.

Respect private matters between the two children

According to experts, you should set specific boundaries and avoid involving your in-laws in the problems between you and your spouse. They should not be a part of your disagreements, especially when they are likely to favor their children.

If you find that your in-laws are trying to interfere in your relationship, don't stay silent, says Kelman. It's important to set these boundaries early on, rather than letting your parents get in the way of your personal issues from the start.

Of course, you need to find a way to express yourself tactfully, instead of saying stressful words to your parents. For example, you can share: "I know you love us, but the important thing is that we solve everything together without needing anyone else's opinion."

Respect your child's interests and lifestyle

Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis says you should be open with your parents about your personal preferences, such as diet, exercise, and parenting. If you don't like pets or, on the contrary, love cats and dogs, don't be afraid to share them so they can be heard and respected.

Respect financial boundaries

Seeking financial support from parents may be a starting point for many young couples, but be careful about letting your in-laws get too involved.

Money issues can often be stressful, says Hafeez. It’s important to talk to your parents about topics like loans, financial support, or involvement in major financial decisions. Be transparent about your expectations and limits, and set boundaries that align with the financial goals and values ​​you and your partner have.

Kelman says you should set clear boundaries, rather than accepting money from your parents and having to follow their rules when you don't want to.

According to VnExpress