The tearful journey home of the "wanderer"

That was the feeling of Linh Hai Duong, also known as "the wanderer", when he just woke up from anesthesia on a stretcher after undergoing surgery alone in Thailand to be himself.

The urge to return

Hoang Thi Linh, born in 1995 in Van Duong village, Kim Khe commune, Kim Thanh district (Hai Duong) in a family with 3 children, boys and girls. I talked to her and called her "Mr. Linh" when he had returned home with a happy family after a difficult journey. Mr. Linh Hai Duong proudly said his real name is Linh, from Hai Duong. He is also nicknamed "the wanderer" because of his travels since 2014, from North to South.

Meeting the "wanderer" when he had just returned from many arduous journeys, he said: "Now I just want to live a normal life".

Throughout his journey of “coming out”, that is, publicly declaring his sexuality, the “wanderer” faced battles of words and tears every night in his house. Since childhood, Linh had strange interests. During his school years, Linh also had a lover and that still haunts him. It was not until he went to university that he realized who he was and had the need to change gender.

Many times he wanted to die because he couldn't stand the pressure. Every day, Linh gradually died because of the calls and messages from his family and relatives accusing him of being unfilial and selfish, smearing ashes and chaff on his face and forcing him to get married and have children like normal girls. Not daring to go home for a long time, sometimes missing his parents so much that his heart ached, he could only stand and watch from afar, then quickly wipe away his tears and rush back into life.

For years, he had been confined to a corset, exhausted by his irregular breathing. He was in pain from squeezing his body into a tight tank top. In the summer, he was even more frustrated with his body. Every morning when he woke up, he felt a vague sense of a body different from his soul. The frustration reached its peak, which was also the time when he was urged to try to “return” as soon as possible.

Satisfaction after pain

And then, Linh underwent two surgeries alone in Thailand. Along with the pain he had to endure were days of only sleeping four hours because of his extra work, meals with a rancid smell, braised meat with a thick layer of white salt, trips by motorbike to Thanh Ha to get guava to sell in the capital just to make a profit of tens of thousands... He once burst into tears because of his troubled life.

The surgeries that helped Linh become what he is today, and to maintain this person, he needs regular hormone injections. The injections help him become a man, no longer feeling uncomfortable once a month like a woman. The injections also shorten his life, impair his memory, reduce his health, and the pain that is present right now is the pain after the injection, the most painful in the cold season.

There were times when he wandered around wishing he wasn't born deformed, then life wouldn't have been so painful. But thanks to his perseverance through that pain, Linh returned home, happy because he had a big and small family by his side and they accepted him for who he really was.

The Wanderer and His Life Stories

The above title is also the title of Linh Hai Duong’s autobiography. The memorable days of his return journey are recounted truthfully in “The Wanderer and His Life Stories” and many other stories.

“Since I started taking the hormone injections for 21 days/shot, my memory has not been good. The book records a part of my life and the life stories of others. They are all true to the characters I met during my time on the tour, taking them on walks and listening to their stories. It gave me a lot of motivation. Some people seemed to be drowning in life but they still tried to rise up to fight. From then on, I gave up the idea of ​​ending my life every time I was stuck,” the wanderer confided.

This book was also published after the "tramp" had Ha Giang, his daughter with his wife through in vitro fertilization. He hopes the book will be like a birth certificate that appears with his daughter because legally, he has no ties to the little girl he loves very much. He created recognition in his own way.

“Now, after 5 years of surgery and self-improvement, I feel more confident, maybe because society is more open. In the journey to return to my desired gender identity, what I lost the most was time to balance my life, but it was also a gain because the truly rich people in this life are those who are rich in experience. This experience is not something that everyone has, even those who are lost on the journey called fate like me,” he looked back.

Later, the "wanderer" still wants to wander. In the past 2 years, he has wandered for 2 months each year in Nepal and India. When conquering the vast snowy mountains, he found this journey similar to his "return" journey because it was both arduous, hard, lonely, and dangerous. When he conquered it, he burst into happiness and learned a lesson about perseverance. During the 61-day trip, Linh set foot on Tilicho Lake (Nepal), the highest lake on the planet, nearly 5,000 m above sea level. The message of positivity and perseverance is also expressed throughout the book of the "wanderer".

Currently, the "wanderer" has just started studying for a master's degree at the Academy of Journalism and Communication. He is trying to settle down in Da Lat with a garden of coffee, durian, avocado and a peaceful house with his small family.