Changing life thanks to the profession of crying for hire

At a funeral, Ly My Tran, 52 years old, lay flat on the ground like the daughter of the deceased, her hands constantly pounding on the coffin, her voice sobbing. Her gestures and cries brought tears to everyone's eyes.

The deceased's children were all abroad and had not yet returned to mourn their father, so they hired Ms. Ly to mourn for them.

Li Meizhen, a professional mourner in Changle City, Fujian Province, has been in the profession for 24 years. She is paid 3,000 yuan (over 10 million VND) for each mourning session. Some days, she performs up to three sessions.

As the third child in a family of eight children in Truong Lac city, her family was poor so after finishing middle school, Ly My Tran dropped out of school to help her parents with farming.

At the age of 18, Ly was married to an illiterate man from a neighboring village. Her life fell into tragedy for 10 years when her husband continuously beat her whenever he was not satisfied. Ly returned to her mother's house, worked as a cleaner in a restaurant to save money to send home to raise her children.

One day, she saw her neighbor crying at a stranger's funeral and learned about the profession of being a hired mourner. Ly offered to try it because she sang well. The neighbor gave Ly the lyrics to the song she was performing at the funeral and told her to practice. Reading the lyrics about the hardships of a deceased mother raising her children, the 28-year-old woman's tears fell unconsciously. "At that time, I thought of my mother, as well as the humiliation that a mother like me had gone through," she said.

Since then, Li has kept the song with her and practiced whenever she had free time. One day, the mourning group was short of staff, and she was introduced. The first time she cried at a funeral, Li Meizhen had to kneel on the ground and cry continuously for 30 minutes. At the end of the session, she was paid 70 yuan. That was a large sum of money earned in a short period of time. Li believed that she could change her life from this profession of mourning.

From then on, Ly started working at 4am and ended late at night. At that time, there were times when she cried 3-4 times a day, each time lasting 1.5 hours without a break or water. "Stopping to drink water will affect the emotions of the person crying," Ly said.

Being a hired mourner is not an easy job. When she cries, she has to use her voice to introduce the deceased’s circumstances, as well as their hardships and contributions to the family, in order to evoke emotions and create an effect for relatives to cry along. Throughout the entire process of being hired mourners, Ly has to kneel continuously, on average several hundred times.

Many colleagues, to avoid getting scratched, tied pads to their knees, or when they couldn't cry, put balm on their eyes. But to Ly, this was disrespectful to customers. "I don't allow myself to do this because anything fake can't convey true feelings to people," she said.

This woman once witnessed a colleague being beaten by a customer because her crying was insincere and did not express her feelings. Li had never encountered such a situation in her 24 years of working, because her singing was considered full of emotion, causing regret for those left behind. Therefore, Li's crying price increased from 70 yuan at the beginning to 3,000 yuan per session as it is now.

With a good income, Ly not only created conditions for her two sons to study but also recently bought each of them a separate house. She built a new house for her parents and contributed money to help them enjoy their old age. Because she was financially independent, Ly did not hesitate to file for divorce from her husband, after many years of domestic violence.

However, since starting her career, Ly has been prejudiced by many people because they think she brings bad luck, and even throw stones or curse behind her back. Some people even oppose the practice of crying for hire at funerals because they think this action does not come from a place of grief for the deceased.

"There is nothing wrong with helping families express their grief," Li said. She said it was not a bad custom but an ancient Chinese tradition.

From her job as a hired mourner, Ly witnessed many different life situations, deepening her understanding of life.

Ly once sang at the funeral of a woman in her 30s who died of cancer. Before that, this woman and her husband had to fight for many years with both families to be together. Shortly after giving birth, the woman fell ill. The husband sold everything he had to save his wife, but it was unsuccessful. During the funeral, he just silently looked at his wife's coffin. At this time, Ly came to his side and comforted him that his wife's passing was a release from pain. As soon as Ly finished speaking, the husband covered his face and sobbed.

Because of working continuously, Ly's health has not been good recently. She often suffers from red and swollen eyes, watery eyes when exposed to wind, and a hoarse voice due to crying for a long time.

However, in the eyes of her friends, Ly is still a lively, cheerful, and funny woman. To relieve her sadness after each funeral, since 2018, Ly has created her own personal channel, sharing her daily life as well as volunteer work. Many viewers of the channel wonder why she doesn't post videos of hired mourners, Ly thinks that is not a way to respect the deceased.

"The profession of mourning for hire not only gives me money but also helps me appreciate what I have after many losses," Ly said.